Preparing for the Holidays

We're getting ready for the holidays!

This past week-end, we got our Christmas tree. This year, both Simi and Asher helped decorate the Christmas tree. In previous years, we waited until they were asleep to decorate, but now they're old enough to be involved. They absolutely loved it and they did a great job of putting the ornaments on the tree!

Sunday, we went to see the Nutcracker. Last year, only Simi was old enough to go but this year, both boys went. They absolutely loved it. We got to visit with the folks in the orchestra pit before and after the show and they even got to talk with a chap in the orchestra. It was too cool.

Simi had remembered from last year that someone dressed as the Nutcracker met us outside the auditorium and gave him a small candy cane. He was hoping that would happen again. Sure enough, when we arrived, someone dressed as the Nutcracker was handing out candy-canes to the children. Asher, who is terrified of people dressed up as things, was so excited and later said that he wasn't scared at all! He was even more thrilled that he got to EAT the candy cane!

All in all, a good holiday week-end. We're looking forward to more to come!

Cars vs. Dolls

It was inevitable; Leila likes vrooming cars as much as the boys do.

Now, perhaps Leila's taste for dolls and cars may change as she gets older, but right now she prefers to ditch the dolls and vroom the cars. OK, in all truthfulness, she prefers to EAT the cars.

A Visit To Santa

For the past several weeks, toy catalogs have been coming in the mail to the house. The boys get so excited about them and read them from cover to cover. At nearly every toy, either Simi or Asher exclaims, "Can we buy this toy?" The canned response is, "You can ask Santa for it."

So now, with Santa's visit nearly here, I asked Simi and Asher to make a list of the things they want, so that they can visit Santa and tell him personally. They both sat down with pencil and paper and make a list: trains, race track, race cars, Ramone (from the Cars movie), and many other types of race cars. Cars, cars, and more cars. (Those folks at Pixar know what boys like.) Simi wrote down all the words and letters. Asher did too, in three-year-old style. Then, we took those lists and headed down to the mall to visit Santa and deliver the lists.

Asher has always been afraid of Santa Claus. In fact, he's afraid of sports mascots and other huge fake animals. I was hoping with the hype of toys and stuff that he'd overcome his fear enough to be able to sit on Santa's lap for a photograph. He did, but it was a really hard for him. I am really proud of him that he managed to overcome his fear enough to sit near Santa. He BARELY sat near him, though, and leaned SOOO far away from Santa - with a great big frown on his face.

Leila, who has the normal 10-month-old stranger anxiety, did GREAT! She let Santa hold her and smiled and laughed. She's the one who looks the happiest in the photo. Simi was the first to go up to Santa, list in hand, and spoke to Santa about what he wants for Christmas. It was adorably cute.

Now we need to find the stuff on their lists.

Thanksgiving

It was an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving.

Simi counted down the days until his cousin Nicole arrived. Simi absolutely adores his cousing Nicole and was incredibly thrilled to hear that she was coming to visit over Thanksgiving. Nicole's mum and dad and big sister, Jessica, also came to visit. Simi's grandfather and grandmother visited too. In fact, Grandma Laurie came bearing gifts and even cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Now THAT's what I call a welcome guest!

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Ms. Personality

Leila is growing up. As she matures, she reveals more and more personality to us. And the more she grows, the goofier she gets.

Leila will look at us and cover her eyes with her hands: to play peek-a-boo with us. She'll cover her eyes, take her hands away, then smile and laugh. It's too funny.

She will also hide behind the curtain (yes, I do know it's a choke hazard. We only let her do it while she's supervised.) and play peek-a-boo. She pulls the curtain around her, then comes out from behind it with a great big smile on her face.

Leila hasn't yet met a stranger she doesn't like. Folks are always coming up to us at a store check-out line because Leila has been looking at them and smiling and they just NEED to come up and say hello to her. She's such a happy baby.

Going Mobile

Leila has been slowly moving around for a few weeks now. Yesterday, her movement has turned into the full-fledged crawl. She can quickly and easily get from one end of the room to the next. Our baby is mobile!

Most parents look forward to this milestone with their baby. It's exciting and new and they love to see their child developing. But since this is our third baby, we dread this day. It means that it's no longer sufficient to put the teeny tiny toys that they boys love in the toy bins on the other side of the room. Now, they have to go up high. And when the boys play with them, we'll have to carefully supervise to make sure no small pieces get into Leila's eager paws. Oh, what fun!

On the other hand, we invented a really fun game with the goofy giggle remote control toy. We make the little toy go and watch Leila chase after it. Hee hee!

Asher Update

We haven't had an Asher update in a while...here it is:

The news is - no news! We still have not started the elemental formula. Insurance denied our request and we can't afford the $35/day ($1000/month) that the formula costs. Right now we're looking into options to see what we can manage.

A couple of weeks ago, we removed corn syrup from Asher's diet. We know that Asher reacts to corn, but corn syrup is supposed to be safe, due to something about the food processing stripping 99.5% of the proteins away. Corn syrup, by the way, is in EVERYTHING. But after reading in three different places that food reactions do occur to corn syrup, we removed it from Asher's diet.

Interestingly enough, Asher is eating A LOT better now. He no longer struggles with eating and eats so much that I think one of his legs is hollow. It's a pleasure to watch him eat now. Is that IT? Have we gotten the last remaining allergen from Asher's diet? I'm tempted to have him scoped now, just to see if he scopes clear now. If these scopes weren't so invasive - and far away - I'd be tempted.

We're pretty sure that Simi does NOT have ee. Simi struggles with eating too, although clearly not to the extent that Asher does. Rather than submit Simi to an endoscopy, we sent his two sets of endoscopy slides (from when he was a baby and struggling with reflux) to Cincinnati to be read by their pathologist. No eosinophils in either of the two sets. Phew!

So, in a nutshell, Asher's fine right now although we haven't made any progress at all on his ee. I'll post another update when there is news to tell.

Halloween 2006

And now he's five. Today is Simi's birthday. The four days of birthday celebration ended today.

The boys got to wear their Halloween costumes to school today. Asher was so excited, he tried to wear his costume to bed. He was Spiderman today. Simi was also excited and couldn't wait to be Batman. Their school hosted a Halloween parade, which was more for the parents than anything else, I think. The children paraded around the circle in front of the building in their adorable costumes while the parents watched, cheered, and took video clips and photos. After the parade, we went inside and did some trick-or-treating and had a party.

Asher's room was particularly sensitive to Asher's allergies. For the trick-or-treating, each parent brought in one small treat for each child in the room. I brought in "Asher-safe" candy and each parent who gave candy (some gave non-edible treats, such as glow-lights or pencils), was given an "Asher-safe" candy to give to Asher. Asher had absolutely no idea that he was getting something different than the rest of his class. It was his first real trick-or-treat experience and he was thrilled.

Raj and I showed up at the end of the boys' lunch to celebrate Simi's birthday with song and cookies. Asher joined Simi's table and shared in the festivities. Then, at the end of the day, we went trick-or-treating. The boys looked absolutely adorable dressed in their superheroes outfits and went up and down the block in search of candy. Asher, especially, thought this trick-or-treating thing was a great idea. Simi tried telling the folks giving candy that Asher couldn't have those treats; he was allergic to them. Once home, we exchanged all the toxic candy that Asher collected for some "Asher-safe" stuff. Thankfully, Asher's a good sport about this stuff; Phew!

Then, came the difficult part; getting Asher to remove his Spiderman costume. He wanted to sleep in it.

And now my Simi-boy is officially five years old. Where DOES the time go?

Simi, Asher, and Leila

When Asher was born, Simi was 23 months old. While Simi was thrilled to hear that he had a baby brother, he didn't interact much with Asher until Asher was about 2 - old enough to be a playmate. Of course, now, the two are inseparable.

Asher was the same with Leila. He was 28 months old when Leila was born. The way that Leila's birth really affected Asher is that there was less parental supervision, which means that he could get away with more stuff. He hasn't really interacted with her or even noticed that she was around.

Simi, on the other hand, absolutely LOVES Leila. In fact, the challenge is to keep Leila safe from Simi, since he doesn't exactly understand the meaning of "Please be gentle, Simi". He hugs her and plays with her and makes silly faces at her to get her to laugh and brings her toys. They have a special bond and it's entirely because of Simi's efforts.

But now, it's almost like a lightbulb went on in Asher's head. It's like his eyes opened and he noticed that Leila is in the room. Now, the past week or so, Asher has noticed Leila and gone to hug her and touch her and bring her toys. Now that he's three, perhaps, developmentally he's ready to interact with her.

Online photo album

Liz has been putting together some picture books, I've taken one of them and uploaded the pictures. I've put in a few captions, and may put in some more.



Asher Age 2 to 3

Simi's Scar, One Year Later

Here are a couple of pictures of Simi now, one year post surgery. You can't really see it in the first one, the second one is bit closer. 

Ugh!

This is Liz speaking. I need to tell you: Seeing those pictures brings me right back to surgery time again. I feel all those emotions just like I felt them a year ago. Ugh! I am SOOOO very glad that we are on THIS side of the surgery and now Simi's fine and we never have to think about it again. Simi DOES have his one year check-up, which is scheduled for some time in December. But that's no big deal. Phew!

Raj and I mentioned the anniversary to Simi. He mentioned that he has memories of Boston. He remembers parts of the hospital visit: making a building with me with the cardboard "bricks" in the play room (which happened before the surgery), playing with cars with me in the play room (which happened the night before he was released), watching "A Bug's Life", and Raj sleeping with him (although it was actually me who slept with him). When asked if his memories were happy or sad, he responded, "happy". I'm 95% sure that he doesn't remember the surgery. I remember Dr. Breitbart saying something about the pain medication they give the children helps them "not remember" that day. That's nice. I remember bawling my eyes out that entire day and just thinking about it brings back the anxiety I felt - in full force. I've somehow managed to keep that anxiety away from Simi, and we managed to fill his "adventure" with fun and love and that's what he remembers. Phew!

Raj took a photo of Simi and his scar and will post it as soon as he can. In the meantime, I think I'm going to write and write and write and push those pictures WAAAAY down to the bottom of the page.

Simi's Scar, one year ago

Here area a couple of pictures of Simi after the surgery last year. The first is still in the hospital, the second back at the apartment and in much better spirits!

-raj 

Simi and Dr. Pigula, one year ago

Here's a picture of Dr. Pigula talking to Simi the day before his open heart surgery. We didn't post any pictures of the trip last year, so I (Raj) am going to post a few of them now, one year later, and here's the first. Dr. Pigula was the surgeon and was wonderful. 

This Time Last Year...

This time last year, we were traveling to Boston to get Simi's heart fixed. I remember the caldron of emotions that engulfed me during that time. All those emotions come bubbling right back up to the surface like it was happening all over again.

I'm so glad we're on this side of the surgery.

Simi's doing great. He's still nursing his broken arm. He's still thin, although not as "concentration camp victim" thin as he was last year. He's much bigger now.

More later; I'm beat.

Celebrating an Anniversary

On October 6, 2005, almost exactly a year ago, Simi had his atrial septal defect repair. We call it "Our Boston Adventure" since the repair was done at Children's Hospital Boston and since we worked on putting fun into the experience. Mission accomplished. The stuff Simi remembers are the fun parts - like going to the aquarium and seeing the Wallace and Grommit movie. The only residual from the repair is a thin, silvery scar down his chest and a HUGE fear of medical procedures.

One of the highlights of our Boston Adventure was picking up acorns in the park across the street from our temporary Boston apartment. We also picked up acorns at the follow-up cardiology appointment here in Raleigh. Kelly Kunkel, a good friend of ours, suggested we plant the acorns. Surprise surprise - they grew! Now, to celebrate the anniversary, we planted the little oak trees outside.

Now let's hope they grow into big, tall oak trees that are as strong as Simi's heart.

The Arrival of the Monsters

Asher is now three. As if on cue, he has begun to fear the monsters. At least we know that developmentally speaking, he is right on schedule.

When Simi began to fear the monsters, we hung a small dreamcatcher on the wall and we told Simi that it keeps the monsters away. When this "key", as Simi calls it, is on the wall, no monsters can enter the room. Armed with that knowledge, Simi breathed a huge sigh of relief and has never worried about monsters again. Simi does remind us to bring the "key" on vacation with us, to make sure that no monsters enter our vacation home.

So when Asher began to fear the monsters, I brought him into the bedroom that he and Simi share and I pointed to the "key" on the wall, explained its purpose, and hoped that the dreamcatcher would work for Asher too. So far it seems to have done the job. Asher and Simi's bedroom is still a monster-free zone. Phew!

And Now He's Three

Today is Asher's birthday. We've been celebrating for a week.

Our birthday celebrations began last Thursday evening when I took him to Toys R Us and told him he could pick out one thing for his birthday. You should have seen his eyes and face as he went from item to item, checking each thing out. In the end, he chose Superman walkie-talkies with night vision. They fit on top of the head (hands free) and he and Simi talk back and forth in them. I'm not surprised that he picked out a gift that both he and Simi can play with together; it's quintessential Asher.

On Saturday, I brought out a Spin Art, which the boys absolutely loved. It made for a very special day. Then in the evening, Asher went to his grandparents house and got spoiled by them and his aunties.

Sunday he got spoiled some more. His big party was at The Little Gym where he got to play with all his friends. And, of course, we have been making a very big deal about him every single day.

Today is his actual birthday. We had yet another birthday party for him - this time in his classroom. We wore party hats and blew noise-makers and sang party songs. I think he had a great time.

It felt great to spoil Asher like we did. Asher is such a quiet, easy-going child that he often gets overshadowed by the outspoken Simi and Leila. Plus, he's gone through some very difficult moments with all the medical testing. He, more than anyone, deserved some special attention.

And now he's three.

Our First Broken Bone...

...belongs to Simi. Simi broke his arm. He was playing at a birthday party on Saturday and he fell down on it wrong. He fell on a well-padded mat and it seemed so slight an accident that we thought it may just be bruised. So we waited to see if it improved or got worse. Sure 'nough, it got worse. Simi got an x-ray, which was a lot of fun, then a cast. Then reality set in when he realized what a pain in the butt it is to have your arm in a cast. Hopefully, the cast will come off in time so that he can celebrate his own birthday without limitations.

Introducing Simon

At Simi's pre-school, the children in their last year of pre-school get to take French lessons. The day Simi started his French lessons, he excitedly told us about it in the car on the way home. He takes French every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and each day he tells us about French. But when we ask him what he's learned, he tells us about the sticker he got, or about playing "eeny-meeny-miny-moe". The only thing he ever says in French is that his name is Simon (pronounced something like, "See-mo", with a long o).

Today, the French teacher, Ana, returned my telephone call. We had a great chat about what he's learning in French and how he's doing. Armed with a few vocabulary words and a song, I started saying these French words to Simi (aka: Simon) in the car on the way home today. Suddenly, Simi starts saying these words too! And then he breaks out in French song! And he even sings "eeny-meeny-miny-moe" in French. The kid has been holding out on us!

So, Monseiur Simon will be learning a bit of French at home too now.

What Makes Asher Happy

Yesterday, Asher and I had lunch together at his school. He looked rather pensive.

"Asher", I asked. " Are you happy or sad?" This is a version of a question he often asks of others.

"I'm happy", comes his reply.

"Asher, what makes you happy?" I asked.

"Spiderman. Buzz Lightyear. Superman. Power Rangers. But not the Green Goblin because he's a bad guy."

So now we know.

Endoscopy Results

Raj and I had a chance to talk with Asher's doctor in Cincinnati. He gave us the results of the biopsies taken during the endoscopy. While the eosinophil count is definitely worse than before, it's not as bad as it could be. In fact, the actual number of eosinophils per area is the same as before (24), but before it was focal, meaning that it was spotty in places. Now it is diffuse, meaning that it's all over his esophagus. So it's definitely worse than before, but not as bad as it could be. OK.

Then we talked about next steps. We have two options: 1) we can increase Asher's dosage of Flovent and go back on that to get rid of the eosinophils or 2) do an elemental diet and see if the eosinophils go away. If they do, then it's diet related and we can incrementally add foods back into his diet one-by-one.

If we choose the Flovent/steroids method, then we're committing Asher to long-term, possibly permanent steroid use without the option of avoiding the stuff to which he's allergic. If we choose the elemental diet, we commit Asher to a 10 week liquid (formula) diet at a time where he's not likely to remember it in years to come. Then we can determine the items that cause the allergic reaction and avoid those -- and possibly keep Asher off steroids. While it may be difficult in the short-term, the elemental diet sounds like a better option in the long term. So that's what we hope to do.

I can't even imagine how hard it's going to be to have Asher drink a formula for all of his meals - for 10 weeks. Of course it comes at the absolute worst times - over his birthday (no birthday cake for him) and Thanksgiving holiday. Ugh.

I need to share something else. During our call, I had asked the doctor if the biopsy slides from the endoscopies performed here in NC had been read by the pathologists in Cincinnati. We had sent the slides there before Asher was first seen in Cinci. Sure enough, they had been read and the very first biopsies revealed eosinophils. They didn't catch it here in NC. If they had, we could have gone to an elemental diet at the age of 9 months, where drinking formula is the norm rather than now when it's difficult. We would have been two years ahead of this game rather than watch Asher suffering like he is.

Back from Cincinnati

Raj and Asher returned safely from their trip to Cincinnati. When they arrived home, it was nearly midnight on Friday. Asher was asleep (thankfully). It had been a long two days for them.

Asher has been even more of a goofball now that he's home. I think he's so happy to be home. He's been very clingy to me and extremely goofy in general. It's so good to have him home.

We'll know more about the next steps with his ee after we talk with the doctor, which will hopefully be on Tuesday.

Asher Update - Results of First Three Months

Part of this Weblog is to chronicle Asher's journey through eosinophilic esophagitis, for those who are suffering from the same illness. This journal entry is an update on Asher.

About three months ago, we took Asher to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for help with his eosinophilic esophagitis (ee). We learned that even with restricting his diet and giving him Flovent, he still had mild ee. We tested him for allergies and restricted his diet even further. We discontinued the Flovent and waited for three months to see the results.

The results are nearly in. Today was Asher's follow-up endoscopy at Cincinnati Children's. While the definitive biopsy results will not be in before Tuesday, preliminary results reveal that Asher's ee is worse now than it was three months ago.

We'll let you know the next plan of action as soon as we know it.

The Perfect Vacation

The perfect vacation has come to an end. Monday is back to reality. Deep sigh...

It all started when a friend of mine from the Dominican Republic sent me an email to say that she was going to be in the US for vacation. I begged her to come visit - so she did. She came for nearly a week. In honor of her visit, I took the week off work to be with her.

We talked about things to do while she was here. Turns out that all the things she wanted to do were kid-friendly. So the boys stayed home with us and we had a wonderful time playing. Monday, after I picked Nadia up from the airport, she and I went shopping. Gotta love that. Then Tuesday, we went to the museum to see the animals. They don't have lemurs in the DR, so that was a big treat.

Wednesday we went to the pool, only to find out that they changed their schedule at the last minute and the pool was closed. So we played on the playground then went home and jumped under the sprinkler. It was still fun.

Thursday we introduced Nadia to Duke Gardens. She got to feed the ducks and the fish and roam around the gardens a bit. Then, after lunch, we went ice-skating. Talk about hysterically funny. Ice-skating isn't a common activity in the hot tropics, so it was new to Nadia. It was also the first time that Simi and Asher went ice-skating. Simi did absolutely great. So did Asher, considering that he's two and this was his first time on skates. Nadia did fantastic too. After ice-skating, we were all exhausted and went home to rest. The boys took the longest nap of their lives while us girls hung out and chatted. It was awesome.

Friday, the boys went back to school and Nadia and I hit the stores once more before her trip home. And then the sad day came on Saturday, when Nadia had to leave us to return back home. Gosh, do I miss her.

Fallen Heroes?

I recently wrote a blog entry about Fallen Heroes. After writing that entry, some folks pointed me to some articles that explain Mary Decker's innocence. And now, I'm reading a lot more about Floyd Landis and his "doping" test results. Turns out that Floyd did not test positive for testosterone as the press continues to say. The test showed a high ratio of testosterone to epitestosterone. The testosterone numbers were normal; it is the epitestosterone levels which were too low. Epitestosterone is nothing; it's not a performance enhancement. It's also known that after efforts of extreme exertion, an athlete's epitestosterone levels would get extraordinarily low. Now, anyone seeing stage 17 of this year's Tour de France would agree that there is no effort any more extreme than Floyd Landis' win at Morzine on stage 17. So, it's really a no-brainer that his e level would be quite low after that kind of performance.

Again, the issue is that the t/e ratio was skewed by 11:1, but the actual numbers, the testosterone numbers, were in the normal category. Floyd Landis did NOT test positive for testosterone. That's a fact.

Perhaps my heroes haven't fallen?

Laughing Leila

I know I talk about Leila's screaming and her stubbornness. She also has this amazingly deep belly laugh and beautiful smile. Her entire face lights up when she smiles. And even though she's a teeny tiny baby, she has an amazingly well-developed, deep, belly laugh. That girl just loves to laugh.

This evening, Simi was playing peek-a-boo with Leila. Leila was sitting in her high chair and Simi was running behind her, then popping out in front of her. Leila absolutely loved it and let out this laugh that had the rest of us rolling with laughter. It was quite a treat.

Week-end Bliss

Our week-ends are anything but relaxing. A typical week-end for us involves getting out of the house by 8:45 AM on Saturday to get to the sport du jour. Which means that Saturday mornings are chaotic and involves a lot of scrambling to find equipment, baby gear, Asher food, ...anything we'll need for that morning. Then, when we return home, it's rush rush rush to get the weekly grocery shopping and other household chores done. Sunday mornings are dedicated to getting together with friends or family - which mean even more rush rush rush to get where-ever we need to go Sunday morning - planning and carrying Asher's meals, baby gear, activities for the boys, etc. Inevitably, Leila gets really tired during these outings and begins to scream. In other words, it's very hectic and chaotic and not a whole lot of fun.

And we have this absolutely lovely play structure in our backyard and rarely get to use it because we're never home.

I promised that this past week-end would be different. And other than going to the last T-ball session, we intentionally made no other plans.

It was sheer bliss to wake up on Sunday and know that we're not expected anywhere at a certain time. We lounged around, then went off to the backyard to play on the play structure and the sand box. The boys had a blast watering the plants (one of Asher's favorite activities). Leila had a wonderful time on the swing, and we all took a trip to Jupiter while "riding" in the fort - with Simi at the helm. (Simi's pre-school just finished a module on planets and he's still talking about them.)

The boys talked about how fun the day was. I agree. Can we have another week-end like this past one?

Stubborn Girl

Growing up, during those times when I was being particularly ornery, my mother would shout, "When you grow up I hope you have a daughter JUST LIKE YOU!" When I learned that I was having a girl, I wondered if my mother's curse would come true. And although Leila is only a mere six months old, she's showing signs of true stubbornness.

Today, after Simi, Asher, and I returned from a trip to the Dollar Store and the pet store, Leila was in her entertainment center when we walked in. The boys were busy opening their booty and I was busy putting the shopping away. Leila was all excited and wanted to be with me. Except I was busy. So Leila got loud. And mad. And by the time she got my attention, she was pounding her fists and stomping her feet. She was MAD.

That's my girl.

Orange Car

A few years ago, when Simi had just turned two and it was getting close to Christmas, we asked Simi if he wanted to ask Santa Claus for anything special. Simi nodded his head and said he wanted an orange car.

An orange car? Both Raj and I thought that was an odd request. We waited a few days or a week or so, then asked him again. Same response. We waited longer and then asked him again. Same response.

By that time, it was nearly Christmas. I ran out to Toys R Us in search of an orange car. I browsed the match box section - no orange cars. I looked through the working vehicles. No orange cars. I scoured the entire store -- and finally found one orange car. It was a scaled-down model replica of the #20 Home Depot NASCAR car. I bought it, wrapped it up and put it under the tree for Simi to find in the morning. Simi was thrilled. He liked all the other toys, but the orange car is what he really wanted.

Fast forward nearly three years. Today, that orange car is still one of his favorite toys. And lately Simi's been watching NASCAR on the television. He jumps up and down whenever he sees his #20 car on the track.

I wonder if NASCAR is a clean sport. Do the drivers dope like they do in track & field and cycling? Anyone know?

Growing Pains

Today, the boys and I went to Stride-Rite to buy new shoes. I knew Asher's size 7 trainers were too small, but much to my surprise, he jumped all the way to a size 9 and 1/2 in a mere 3 months. Growing that fast has got to hurt.

We knew the steroid we had given him for his EE had kept him from growing. He hadn't grown a millimeter in the year that he was on it. Now that he's not taking the Flovent, he's growing like a weed in the sunshine. Amazing.

Both Simi and Asher picked out their shoes and proudly wore them out of the store. Asher loved his so much that he wanted to wear them to bed. It took a lot of prying to get them off him.

Fallen Heroes

Most of you who know me know that, pre-children, I was an avid runner. Indeed, I ran track all three seasons throughout high school. And even though I don't run now, I still consider myself a runner.

When I was in high school and college, Mary Decker was America's top female runner in my events. She just tore up the track. In fact, I traveled to Los Angeles for the 1984 Olympics just to see her run. I managed to get tickets somehow and visited my grandfather, who lived in Los Angeles at the time. I used to run with my grandfather too, and was so incredibly excited that he and I were going to go see Mary Decker run. The day my grandfather and I went to watch the 1984 Olympics - to watch my hero Mary Decker run - is a day that's indelibly etched in my memory.

Then the race. If I remember correctly, it was the 3,000 meter, which was my favorite distance in high school There they were, all on the starting line. The shot of the gun, signaling the beginning of the race and they're off. Mary Decker quickly found herself boxed in. Zola Budd of South Africa (running on the British team having fenagled a British citizenship at the 11th hour based on a very distant relative) was running, barefoot, directly in front of her. Having been boxed in once during a race, I felt this lump in the pit of my stomach. Being boxed in is horrible. You can't move; you're stuck. You can't get around them and it messes up your pace. Here was my hero - boxed in. Then it happened - Mary Decker tripped on Zola Budd's foot and fell. She went down. No medal for Mary Decker. I saw her fall. It seemed like the entire stadium gasped. And instead of getting up and continuing to run, she decided to get off the track. What? Keep running, Mary! Even if you come in last, you have to finish! She walked straight to her coach and the American team lodged a complaint against Zola Budd.

In my eyes, my hero had fallen. What I saw, in my opinion, was very unsportsmanlike. Zola didn't cause Mary Decker to fall. Mary Decker caused Mary Decker to fall. In fact, Mary hurt Zola by clipping her bare foot. Mary, the American favorite on American soil, played her trump card against Zola who was just trying to run a fair race. And that really bothered me.

Many years later, I learned that Mary Decker Slaney tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and had probably been using them her entire career. I was crushed. I envied her speed. I relished her wins. With the exception of her poor behavior at the 1984 Olympics, I admired her. She was my hero. And then I learned that she had been cheating the entire time. It crushed me.

This past July, all of us were watching the Tour de France. Raj and I became avid fans of The Tour while watching Lance Armstrong win these past several years. This year, with Lance retired from the race, it promised to be a more dramatic Tour. Drama we got after watching our favorite team, Discovery, fall by the wayside and watching our other favorite, Floyd Landis, plow up the mountain. The drama continued when Floyd lost steam in the 16th stage and fell from first place to 11th overall. Then the very next day, stage 17, Floyd crushed his opponents in an amazing feat of strength and speed. That day we saw our all-American boy-next-door, the kid with the wholesome Mennonite upbringing, perform a phenomenal feat - while keeping his eye on the goal of winning the Tour. We watched him reach the podium in Paris in the yellow jersey and we triumphed and celebrated his victory with him. And we showed, through Floyd Landis, to our children what hard work and preserverence can do.

Then, we learn that our hero, Floyd Landis, cheated while climbing the mountain that day on Stage 17. He had taken performance enhancing drugs. Our hero had fallen.

Both Mary Decker and Floyd Landis lost sight of one important thing: if you have to cheat to win, you didn't win. They deceived themselves, the public, their competitors, and the people who believed in them, who looked up to them. In the end, even if you've manage to lie to the entire world that you deserved the win, you still have to live with yourself and the knowledge that you did not earn it honestly. It's a lie. It's just not worth it. It's not worth living that lie. It's not worth gaining that shiny medal object for the price of a lifetime of lies and deception.

It was a different lesson for our children than we expected.

I think instead of watching track and field or professional cycling, we'll have to watch futbol or hockey - or some other sport that utilizes teammanship and strategy -- and fairplay.

Leila at Six Months

Leila just celebrated her six month birthday. That means another trip to the doctor for some shots and a weigh and measure.

Here are her stats, for those keeping score:
length: 26+ inches
weight: 20 lbs. 3 oz.

That puts her firmly in the 50Th percentile for height and over the 100th % weight. She's a fat girl, just like her mum.

Developmentally, she's doing great. She sits by herself nicely, despite having to haul up so much weight. She's doing everything she's supposed to be doing at her age, plus a few things she's supposed to be doing in later months. So, it's all good.

While it's still too soon to see her personality, little bits of it are coming out. When she smiles, her entire face lights up. It's beautiful. She's a happy girl. Sometimes she's very laid back, and sometimes she just REALLY wants things HER way and no other way will do and heaven help anyone who stands in her way. She's also very determined. When she drops a toy, she does everything she can to get it back.

Every time she screams and screams and screams because she wants things HER way, I remind myself that this really is a good trait that will be to her advantage as she grows up. Heaven help me....

Super-Speedy Fast

Remember last year when the movie "The Incredibles" was released? The boys absolutely love that movie (they STILL love that movie). Simi identified himself with Dash, the boy super who ran "super-speedy fast". Asher identified himself with the baby Jack-Jack, who has quite a few super capabilities. When talking about Dash and Jack-Jack, Simi would run around the house saying that he was "super-speedy fast". "Yes, Simi", we replied, " You sure are super-speedy fast." Simi soaked it all in.

I'm not sure if it's because he really thinks he's fast or if because, by nature, he is fast, but Simi sure is fast. He can out-run everyone on his soccer team. He can really move down the field, even while wearing sandals.

I say, "Simi, you sure are fast". "Yes, mommy.", comes his reply. "I'm super-speedy fast".

T-ball for Asher

It's t-ball season. That means that our Saturday mornings are occupied with t-ball games.

T-ball is for children ages 3-6. That means that only Simi plays t-ball.

Last year, Simi was on the yellow team. He received a yellow shirt with the number 5 printed on the back. This year, Simi is also on the yellow team. He received a yellow shirt with the number 5 printed on the back. There are about 18 teams. You can't plan this kind of coincidence.

Asher is thrilled. That means that he gets to wear the exact same shirt as Simi, even if he doesn't get to go out on the field.

Usually, when Simi's out on the field, I'm playing t-ball with Asher on the sidelines. We practice throwing and catching, mainly. Asher loves it; he wants to be just like his big brother.

Today, Asher got to PLAY in the game. Not many kids showed up today, so the coach let Asher play. Now, if you think 3 year-olds are clueless, you should see a 2 year-old playing t-ball. It's precious.

Asher did great. He hit the ball great on the very first try. Thing is, he's a lefty and the coach set him up to hit righty. So he hit it right into the coach, who was standing where the catcher should be. Oops. Coach turned Asher around and he hit the ball off the tee and right straight into the field. Then we had to explain to Asher how to run the bases.

The highlight, according to Asher, is that he got to wear a helmet when he batted.


Good job, Asher, on your first t-ball game.

Awwwww....

The other day, Simi and I were talking about Asher moving to his pre-school. Asher will move up shortly after his third birthday. School rule is that siblings cannot go into the same room.

Simi and I were discussing which room Asher should go into. Simi said he wanted Asher to go into the room next to his, so that he can see Asher on the playground all the time. Simi said, "Asher's my best friend. I want to play with him on the playground every day."

Awwww...

Asher Update

It's been about three weeks since Asher and Raj's journey to Cincinnati Children's Hospital. I wish I could tell you - either good or bad - how Asher is doing. Truthfully, the jury is still out -- and it will probably be another 2-3 months before we know for certain how he is doing.

It seems to me like we're really at the beginning of this food allergy journey. It feels to me like it's a very long, narrow, windy road and will, probably, take a long time to get a handle on this thing.

So, that said, here is what we do know:

We stopped giving him the steroid (Flovent). Truthfully, I was super concerned about not giving him the steroid because that's what helped him when he was first diagnosed. On the other hand, it feels really good to me as a parent to not give my child steroids. Plus, now we can see allergic reactions when he has them.

It does seem like he struggles a bit more now than he did. I don't like that. It really concerns me.
We also learned that he may be allergic to fish. Fish is one of those "Top 8" allergens - a very common allergy-causing food. It's also something we gave him about three times per week. We gave him fish (Tilapia) shortly after stopping the Flovent and he had a super-bad case of night sweats and he was up and down all night long. Asher no longer eats fish.

Through the allergy tests done at Cincinnati, we learned that we were giving him at least one food in each meal in which he was allergic. Turkey, fish, and the barley in his favourite Rice Chex were popular staples in Asher's diet.

Through the results of the endoscopy, we learned that the most mild of doses of Flovent does a good job in protecting Asher's esophagus. Although there was still damage, it wasn't as bad as it could be. That's good to know.

We learned that allergens lurk in the most hidden of places. For example, did you know there is corn starch in baking powder? This means that we not only have to read ingredients, but we have to read the ingredients of the ingredients. Now if that doesn't make one neurotic...

We also learned that we need to be much more vigilant about reading ingredients. Some brands of rice milk actually have soy in them (why?). So we think we're doing the right thing, only to find out that we're poisoning our child. Deep deep sigh...

So, stay tuned while we try to figure all this stuff out. We'll keep chronicling the journey, in the hopes that it will help others.

Simi Math

The other day, while driving home from work/school, Simi asked Raj and I, how much is 9 + 11. Raj and I had the same response: Simi, those are some big numbers, why do you ask?

Simi's school work folder comes home with him on Fridays. In the folder are the things he has painted that week, his writing, the paper he has cut, etc. This week, in the folder, were two small books that he and his head teacher made together. On each page of the book was an equation: e.g.: 9+9=18, where the teacher wrote the first two numbers and Simi wrote the response.

He's four.

Reader Simi

The other day, Raj came home with two new books - one for Simi and one for Asher. The one for Simi was a grade 1 book based on the movie, "Cars". The one for Asher was based on the movie "Toy Story". Simi grabbed the "Cars" book and began reading it out loud. And he kept reading it. He read the entire book - cover to cover. It's a 1st grade book and Simi, age 4, the one who is in pre-school, read it.

Then he wanted to read it again. And again.

Just the week before, Simi came home with new work from school. On the paper was math: 1+2=3. 2+2=4, etc. Except the kid is four and this is first grade math.

I hope he's not bored by the time he enters kindergarten...

Solid Foods for Leila

Today was Leila's first "solids" meal. Technically, it wasn't quite solid. It was soupy rice cereal mixed with breast milk.

Leila loved it. She grabbed the bowl with one hand, the spoon with her other hand, and lapped it up. She had a look on her face as if to say, "Mummy, you've been holding out on me for TOO long!" I think she was quite ready to start on solids.

T-ball Season

In the summertime, t-ball takes over our Saturday mornings. Personally, I'm not a fan of t-ball. It's hot, even at 9-10 AM when they play, and the kids get bored while standing around waiting for their turn. I get bored, too, waiting and waiting. And t-ball season seems to drag on forever.

But t-ball was really fun this week.

The weather was absolutely perfect. It was in the low to mid-80s and very comfortable. And everyone was in a good mood.

Simi had a wonderful time hitting the ball, running the bases, catching the ball, and throwing it. While Simi was on the field with his team, I was on the side playing catch with Asher. Asher was just loving it. He does a great job throwing the ball. Then I'd lob an easy one into his out-stretched arms and when it fell just right, he beamed his beautiful smile. He was just so incredibly happy. Leila, too, was in a really good mood and played happily in her stroller.

After lunch, the boys went into the backyard to practice their hitting on the t-ball tee. And today, I took Asher to buy his own ball and glove. He was absolutely thrilled. He beamed with pride.

Seeing their happiness makes it all worth it.

Bad Guys Go to Venus

Simi is learning about the solar system in his pre-school class. He's absolutely loving this module more than any other module so far. Every evening he trips over his tongue in an effort to tell us everything he learned that day about the solar system. "Mommy, did you know that the sun is a hot star?", he says. Then he goes on and on and on about the sun and everything he learned about it.

Today was no different. In the car on the way home, Simi jabbered on and on and on about Saturn's moons and Jupiter's moons. Then he talked about Venus. "Mommy", he starts. "We'll put all the bad guys on Venus. Then there won't be any more bad guys; they'll all be on Venus."

"Good idea", I say. "But how will we get them to Venus?"

"Well, that's simple", continues Simi. "We'll just put them in my rocket ship and fly them to Venus. Then, when we get close, we'll open the door of the rocket ship and push them out. Then we'll fly back home."

Problem solved.

Photo of Raj - taken by Asher, age 2

If you look in the sunglasses, you can see Asher taking the picture. Perhaps he has a future in photography?

Click on the photo to enlarge it, else the photo is too small to see the Asher in Raj's sunglasses.

The Mother of All Food Allergies

Right around the time that Raj and Asher were making their way to Cincinnati, I found the following article written by Dr. Putnam, who is Asher's main doctor at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

"The Mother of All Food Allergies", by Dr. Putnam

It's all about me

The goal of this blog is to 1) share my children's development with family who live far away and 2) share what we have learned about their medical challenges in the hopes that it helps others.

But now I want to talk about me.

Asher's EE really scares me. I read what the experts write about it. I talk to other mothers of children with EE. I talk to Asher's doctors. The future for Asher scares me. I worry about his ability to eat food by mouth. I worry about the need for a g-tube or ng-tube. I worry about how it will affect his development - both mental and physical. I worry about his longevity - that his EE may shorten his life.

OK, I'm terrified about that last item. Will I lose my baby due to some disease that I don't understand? We always say that Asher is "freakishly strong and frighteningly smart". He is wise well beyond his two years. Is he a prophetic angel brought to us from some external being? Is there a special goal for him? Mainly, will his life be taken from us way before we're ready? That last fear sends me into a wild spin. It makes me want to hold him tight and not let him go. I want to try to protect him...except I can't. I fear this is beyond me. And that terrifies me.

The Results Are In

The results of Asher's endoscopy, colonoscopy, and allergy tests are in.

First, the bad news: the endoscopy revealed that he still has eosinophilic esophagitis and also eosinophils in his small intestine.

Next, the good news: there are no eosinophils in his colon. So, it could be worse.

This means that even with the three (yes, 3!) medicines he is taking as well as the extremely restricted diet, he is still suffering with EE.

Next we discussed a plan of action with Dr. Putnam. First, we agreed to stop giving him Flovent, because it simply masks the symptoms. Then, for the next three months, we agreed to restrict Asher's diet with everything we have already eliminated, plus eliminate all the foods to which he tested positive during the allergy testing. After three months, he will get another endoscopy to see if the eosinophils have gone away. If they have not gone away, then it means we have to put him on a liquid elemental diet. But we'll cross that bridge only if necessary.

The final allergy results also include corn. I look at the damage that corn created on poor Asher's back and it scares me to think that this kind of damage is occurring inside my son's esophagus. The skin that the corn touched is all blistered and raw - about 1.5 inches in diameter. Like poison, the corn burned poor Asher.

Immediately after the final results of the allergy test, Raj and Asher began their long drive home. Simi and I made a bet on when they would arrive. Simi bet they would return home on Friday and said that if he won, he wanted a matchbox car. I said they would return home on Saturday and if I won, I wanted a big hug and kiss from my boy.

When did they return home? Exactly midnight.

Aquarium Day

Wednesday was a day off from testing. In fact, all the tests are finished and now we're just awaiting the results.

With an entire day off, Raj and Asher headed to the aquarium. Asher has a love/hate relationships with aquariums. This is the third one he's been to (Boston and Pine Knoll Shores, NC are the other two) and he's both scared of them and awe-struck by them. He's particularly nervous about divers in the tanks, but yet he continually talks about them and is mesmerized by them. He'll probably be a marine biologist when he grows up.

After the aquarium, Raj took him back to the hotel (the Extended Stay hotel) for a nap, only to have hours upon hours of fire drills. Poor Asher couldn't nap yet he was exhausted from the long testing days. Grrrr. So Raj took him to the Dollar Store and let Asher have his pick of whatever he wanted. It must have felt like Christmas to Asher - all those toys!

This morning is our meeting with the main doctor, Dr. Putnam. We will get the results of the endoscopy and colonoscopy, talk about the preliminary results of the allergy testing, and make a plan of action. I can't wait.

Allergy Testing Day

Today was allergy testing day. They tested for 35 foods. They did the skin prick tests on Asher's arms and the patch tests on his back.

The skin prick test results show allergy to:

Turkey
Egg yolk
Wheat
Barley
Mold II
Cat

The turkey was the big surprise. Between his lunch and dinner, he eats turkey at least 3 times a week. No wonder he still struggles with his eating.

We don't really feed him barley, so we don't have any experience with it. Egg yolk and wheat are no surprise at all to us; neither is cat. I'm not really sure what mold II is; we'll have to talk with the Dr. about that one.

I'm glad he didn't test positive for rice or potatoes. He eats a lot of those.

Now, I'd bet the house that it's dairy that makes him vomit. And he's shown a reaction to corn in the past; where is that one on the list? And the formula he was on when first diagnosed was soy/corn - I don't see those anywhere. What's up with that? Lots of questions linger...

The patch tests stay on Asher's back for two days. We get the results of them on Friday.

We have officially stopped torturing Asher with all these tests. Tomorrow is a day off. Thursday we meet with Dr. Putnam to get the results of the endoscopy/colonoscopy and get a plan of action. Friday morning is the results of the patch testing, then they get to come home! I can't wait; I miss them both so much!

Endoscopy/Colonoscopy Day

Today was the endoscopy and colonoscopy. To prepare for them, Asher had to stop eating Sunday morning. That's right - no food at all for nearly two days! He was allowed clear fluids on Sunday, then nothing at all from 9:30 AM Monday until 2:30 PM when the endoscopy and colonoscopy was scheduled.

To make matters worse, Asher needed to drink 3 separate doses of bad-tasting medicine, then have four enemas to clean out his system.

Asher did great. He didn't complain at all about not eating or even not drinking. He didn't complain at all about the enemas. He just went with it.

Now for the good news: Dr. says that everything looked good. He does so many of these that he can usually tell by sight if there is eosinophils in the esophagus, intestine, etc. Of course the biopsy results are the definitive answer, but it's reassuring to know that things are looking so good.

Asher was so mature that all the nurses said he behaved like a 5 year-old. That's my boy.

And now the worst is over. It gets easier after today.

Tomorrow is allergy testing. I'll try to update again tomorrow night.

Asher's Big Adventure

I've written before about Asher's food allergies. A year ago, he was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis, which is a fancy word for food allergy.

Traditionally, when you think about an allergic reaction, you think about, perhaps, watery eyes or sneezing or itching. Those are reactions that occur on the outside of your body. Asher's allergic reactions happen inside his body: his esophagus, and perhaps his intestines and bowel. The reactions do not occur immediately - we find out about them about two weeks after he's eaten a food when he vomits or stops eating. It makes diagnosing very difficult. We have some ideas, but we don't know exactly to what he's allergic.

Eosinophilic esophagitis is a relatively newly discovered disease - about 10 years old. Prior to 10 years ago, they simply thought that it was reflux that didn't respond to medicine. There is a lot that the medical profession still doesn't know about it. And there are only three centers for pediatric eosinophilc disease in the country. We've been seeking medical help nearby, but we need more. So we're taking Asher to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for further medical help.

For the past seven or eight weeks, I had been trying to make an appointment at Cincinnati Children's. I was just about to give up and make an appointment at one of the other two EE centers when I received a call late Monday afternoon. There was a cancellation next week; can we make it? A resounding YES was the reply and we've been scrambling to collect medical records, biopsy slides, arrange travel and hotel and prepare for the trip.

We decided that Raj and Asher were going to make this journey alone. Logically, it makes sense. With all kids in tow, it becomes a zoo and then we can't concentrate on Asher. We wouldn't be able to ask the questions we need of the doctors or help Asher with his medical procedures. Best for Raj to take Asher alone.

So now Raj and Asher are making their way to Cincinnati. Asher has appointments all week long there. On Monday, he'll have an endoscopy and colonoscopy - to examine the extent of the damage. (We had just assumed that the allergy is strictly in his esophagus, but as we answered the nurses questions, it seems like his allergy might also be in his intestine and bowel.) Tuesday is the allergy testing. Wednesday they have a day off, then Thursday they get the allergy tests read and get a plan of action from the doctor. Friday, is the result of the patch (allergy) tests. Then they'll make their way home on Saturday again. Phew!

For those who suffer from this disease, I'll chronicle Asher's journey here. I hope it helps you.

Leila at Four Months

Leila just had her 4 month check-up. She weighed in at 17 lbs, 4 oz. That's in the 97th percentile for weight. What a fatty!

In comparison, Simi was 17 pounds at his 9 month check-up.

I'd tell you her length, but she measured shorter at four months than she was at 2 months. Since there is an obvious mis-measurement, we'll just wait and see how long she is at 6 months.

Leila's doing great in every way. She's right on target developmentally. She's such a happy girl, so easy going, yet undeniably fights for what she needs. That's my girl.

Bad Parenting

Usually, I try to write about the good side of my children. They really and truly are good kids, although sometimes, like all children, they have their moments. Lately, however, they've been the biggest brats on the planet.

Since Leila's arrival, Simi and Asher have been spending all their time together. Seems like they're spending WAY too much time together and are starting to feed off each other's badness/get competitive with each other/get on each other's nerves/fill in the blank here.

The other night, during a celebration dinner for their Aunt, Simi and Asher turned into THE BIGGEST BRATS. They've never behaved so poorly in their lives - and they did it in front of a big audience. After the usual parenting techniques failed, I resorted to dysfunctional behavior - I screamed at them to stop. And at one point, to get Simi's attention when all else failed, I picked him up, put him on the couch, and YELLED at him to stop. I'm not proud of my behavior and the whole scene really shook me up. It shook up Simi too. He started to cry and the look on his face was just horrific. Yet it didn't stop his bad behavior. I hated the way Simi and Asher behaved and I hated the way I behaved. In a word, it was horrific.

The next day we went to a friend's 5th birthday party. While there, the mother of a little girl was screaming at her daughter. I recognized that behavior in my own actions from just the night before. So THAT'S how horrible it looks. From the outside, the screaming was as bad as it felt from the inside. I hope to never ever do that again.

Stay tuned while we figure out how best to conquer these new challenges....

Toddler Humor

Jokes by Asher (age 2):

Have you ever seen a fish go fishing?

Have you ever seen a train go training?

Toddler Soccer

Finally, Asher is playing soccer. He has been begging to go for quite awhile; ever since he realized that Simi plays and he doesn't.

Today was his second soccer session. At this age, they don't have games or even divide into teams. Instead, everyone has their own ball and they play activities designed to strengthen muscles and teach basic skills.

Toddler soccer is adorable. It's a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds who are running around clueless. Normally, some are crying, some are banging themselves into walls, and some have the potential to be the next Pele.

Considering that Asher has only kicked the ball once before, he did great. When practice first began, he ran out onto the field without me and I felt this tinge of emotion, watching my baby acting like a big boy. Emotion got me even more as he dribbled downfield and upfield and followed the coach's directions. And then, as much emotion as I felt, perhaps he felt it too. He ran up to me, took my hand, and led me to the field to continue. Together, we had a wonderful time jumping in and out of hoola hoops and weaving in and out of cones. And just about the time when he was ready to leave, the session ended and it was time to go. Perfect timing. I can't wait to do it again next week.

Next time I'll bring my camera.

Back from the Beach

My apologies for the lack of entries lately. We just returned from a week at the beach.

The beach vacation was a lot of fun. We went to Emerald Isle this year. Truthfully, while we like to go to a different beach every year, we always seem to return to Emerald Isle. So far, we prefer that beach to all the others. Well, Ocracoke probably is a clear winner if we went without the children.

We asked Simi and Asher to list their favorite bits of vacation. Number one for both of them was the aquarium. It just re-opened and it's absolutely awesome. In fact, the boys loved it so much that we went twice. One of the exhibits of the aquarium is a very large tank filled with fish and sharks. At a specific time of day, a pair of scuba divers swim into the tank and talk to the children, who assemble in front of the tank to watch the divers. For Asher, the divers was, hands-down, his favorite part of the vacation. He was both terrified and awed by them. And he hasn't yet stopped talking about them.

For Simi, the next best part of the trip was making a shape from a penny. I'm sure you've all seen the machines where you plop in two quarters and a penny and the penny comes out all flattened with some sort of print on it. For Simi, that flattened penny was one of the highlights of the trip.

Leila looked absolutely stunning in her bikini and sun hat. The beach didn't excite her, nor did the divers in the big tank. Her favorite thing was having her brother Simi make silly faces at her all week long.

Asher gets goofier by the day. I think anything would have been fun for him, as long as he had all of us with him. He's such a goofball.

For me, the best part was spending time with my wonderful husband and sweet children. The second best part was viewing all the phenomenal photos Raj took. Perhaps we'll be able to share a couple of them with you here - soon.

Sweet Dreams

If I could, I think I'd be one of those moms who sleeps in bed with their children all night long.

Truth is, we have a house rule: everyone sleeps in their own bed. Except for the Leila, because her bed is our bed. And now, it seems, except for Asher, who quietly sneaks into our bedroom in the wee hours and quietly climbs into bed next to me. And then when I find him, I'm just so tired and it's so nice to cuddle with him and smell his sweet smell...I just can't resist. And then along comes Simi, who finds out that Asher's no longer in his bed and runs in to join in. And then we all have to get up and go back to our own beds again....

Brag

I try not to brag about my children, but sometimes I just can't resist:

This brag is about Asher, age 2. Without any help at all, he's managed to figure out how to play with his brother's Leapster (ages 4-10) and play all the games in it. Since my 4 year-old needed instructions, it's quite the accomplishment that a 2 year-old could figure it out on his own.

While we're on the subject of brags, please allow me to continue. This one's about Simi, age 4. We pulled into the gas station to fuel up and he says, "Mommy, I know what that sign says: Stop Engine, No Smoking".

And since I'm on a roll, let me tell you about the Leila, who does a really great job pooping and having it escape her nappy and go up all the way to her armpits. Now THAT's talent!

Phew, I'm glad I got that out. Thank you for allowing me to brag...

The Leila

Leila is 3 months old now. With each day, we begin to see more and more of her personality.

When I was pregnant with Leila, we had gone through Asher's EE diagnosis and Simi's open heart surgery. I had also gone through an extraordinariy stressful time at work. It was stressful all around. I worried that my stress would affect her "forma de ser", her way of being.

Leila is the most easy-going, happiest baby on the planet. She is seemingly unaffected by stress while in utero. Phew!

What's Up With This?

In the past few days, I've found about 10 gray hairs on my head. Now, what's up that all of a sudden my hair is turning gray?

Harumpf!

You Know You're a Veteran Mom When...

You have two children vomit on you and one poop on you ...and it's no big deal.

Leila and The Boys

I felt sorry for Leila even before she was born.

Leila is the third child - with two brothers just two and four years older than she. My concern is that we'd have to protect her from their accidental "mishandling" of their baby sister.

Turns out that she loves it. She loves it when Simi gets right up in her face and talks nonsense to her. She loves it when he waves his body all around - within milimeters of her face. She smiles and laughs and can barely contain herself.

Simi and Leila in the car: Simi gets all silly and Leila just laughs and laughs and laughs.

What does this mean for when she's older?

Allergic Asher

A year ago, I posted that Asher was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis. That's a fancy word to say that he has a food allergy.

When he was first diagnosed, the Dr. gave him a prescription for Flovent and sent us on our merry way....

The Flovent has worked great. Asher stopped vomiting and started eating solids almost immediately. We're truly thankful for that. And we haven't had to worry about his allergies while we worked to fix Simi's heart or prepared for Leila's arrival. That was nice.

But during this past year, Asher has gradually began to struggle with eating again. So much so, that we started investigating how to deal with his food allergies.

Our most recent stop was to see the head of the department of pediatric allergy at Duke. Since he has food allergies, we thought it best to get the advise of a pediatric allergist. We couldn't have been more wrong. This doctor, after keeping us waiting for three hours, told us not to restrict his diet/avoid any food which may trigger his allergy. Instead, he said, just keep taking the Flovent and not worry about it. Truthfully, he made me feel like a terrible mum for restricting my child's diet.

When I asked about skin testing to determine the offending foods, the doctor said it wouldn't be helpful. He did agree to do blood tests, though. The blood tests revealed a mild allergy to wheat. Doctor told us not to restrict wheat from Asher's diet.

We followed his advice. Asher was thrilled. He started eating yogurt and things with wheat and things with soy. And within two weeks, he started vomiting. Then, he stopped eating completely.

After doing a bit of investigating, I learned that this doctor gave lousy advise.

We also visited our pediatric gastroenterologist, who told us that kids with EE don't usually grow out of it, and that he'll probably need to take the steroids forever. Hmmnn..

So...off we go in a quest to find more help. I'll chronicle our adventure, in the hopes that it may help someone else. Right now we're awaiting an appointment at the Eosinophilc Center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Yes, indeed, there really is a place like this. We're told that our appointment will probably be in August or September. They only take 3 new families a week and that's when the next appointment will be available.

In the meantime, we've gone back to restricting Asher's diet and he's back to eating again. Phew!

Mothers do know best. We may not have the medical degree, but we know our children.

Hungry Girl

When Simi was first born, he and I would lay in bed together and alternate between sleep and eat (he would do the eating). He'd sleep so gently and peacefully, then start smacking his lips together (like Winnie-the-Pooh. I could just imagine the sweet thought in his brain saying something like, "oh, I'd like a little smackeral of something.") and then turn to me with mouth open, just like a little bird opening his mouth wide open to get a worm from momma bird. And then we'd lay together with him nursing until he was done and fell asleep again. And I'd wish we could lay there - just like that - forever.

Same with newborn Asher. When hungry, he'd open his little bird mouth and bump around looking for his booby. And he'd find it, nurse until satiated, then fall back to sleep again.

Not Leila. Leila has never given me a little bird mouth. Nope. Instead, she rams her entire body into me to wake me up and feed her. And she just keeps ramming until I wake up and shove the breast into her mouth. Sometimes, she doesn't even wait to find the nipple, just starts sucking on a random part (ouch!), until I get the right part in the right place. And then she sleeps soundly, sweetly, again, until it's time to become a battering ram again.

My sweet, delicate little flower...

Easter Week-end

I'd like to tell you about our very special Easter week-end. The boys woke up on Saturday to find an Easter egg hunt awaiting them in the living room. They quickly got dressed and came downstairs and scooped up all the eggs.

Now, you may be wondering why a Jewish/Hindu family would ever even think of celebrating Easter.... Truthfully, I fail to see a connection between the Easter bunny and Jesus. It's really just a fun way to do something special (color eggs, hunt eggs, eat chocolate) and fun. No religion is really involved.

We did tell them the story of Passover, though.

Now, back to our week-end...

Saturday morning, while at breakfast, we were talking about what to do that day. I mentioned that I'd like to go to the zoo, but it's a good two hour drive each way. So we decided to go to the Museum of Life and Science, which is about five minutes from our house. They have a great playground, which we never have a chance to go to because the boys are always busy doing something else there.

When we showed our membership card at the front desk, one of the museum staff told us to be sure to check out the new exhibit - which just opened up that day. Off we go to the playground...which is completely empty. The boys had a blast running up and down the structures.

At the playground is a caboose. Yes, a real train caboose. Raj fondly talks about the days when his parents took him and his sisters to the museum and they played on the caboose. I think it was one of his favorite things at the museum. And now here he is, taking his children to the museum and they're playing on the same structure that he enjoyed as a kid....

And then we decided to go check out the new exhibit...

Dang, this thing isn't just an exhibit, it's like a whole new entity! We walk onto a boardwalk structure to the most beautiful overview of a lake/marsh. The view is breath-taking. In the exhibit are bears, wolves, and lemurs. The enclosures for the animals seem fun and comfortable for the animals and the boys enjoyed watching the bears frolic in the water and jump on the trees. More than anything, they really enjoyed the deck full of interactive activities. They threw sand in the stream bed, swam like tadpoles and like ducks, and watched the Canada Geese sit on his nest. In fact, we couldn't get them away from this deck; they had way too much fun.

It was so much fun, we went back on Sunday for a second visit. And the boys are still asking when they can go back again.

I suspect we'll be there a lot this summer.

Oh, and that Easter basket? Both boys have quickly forgotten about it - and it's still full of candy.

Simi's Drawing

As Raj and I were preparing dinner, Simi was at the easel drawing and Asher was playing with a Rescue Hero toy. Leila was in her bouncy seat, taking in the scene. Simi called me over to ask me how to spell his last name. He wrote his first name on the drawing and wanted to make the name complete. Raj and I looked at the drawing. Simi had drawn a picture of two boobies, complete with the area "where milk comes out" (Simi's words). He had drawn it so well, that it was easy to see what he had drawn. Simi had obviously seen me nurse Leila a few times.

After laughing so hard that tears ran down my face, I was finally able to compose myself enough to help him spell his last name.

Tobor

We now have another new addition to our family: Tobor. Tobor is a robot created from our set of Tinker Toys.

The boys regularly play with the tinker toys and Simi loves to build robots. He loves robots that fly and robots that kill bad guys and robots that crash. OK, really, he just loves to build robots. And after we build them, we take them apart and put them back into the tinker toy container.

Except for Tobor. He's our only creation who has remained "outside the canister". In fact, he now has a personality, a background, and a history. He comes from the continent and/or country that Simi learned about that day, and takes all different types of transportation, based on what Simi is learning.

Welcome, Tobor, to the family.

Fun Toys

The weather cooperated so perfectly this week-end. Both Saturday and Sunday were the perfect spring days. We celebrated them by spending as much time outside as possible. We had gotten a play structure last summer, so we spent a lot of time in the backyard, playing on swings, slides, forts, and sand boxes.

But the most popular activity this week-end by both Simi and Asher was filling up the watering can (or small container) and watering whatever they could find. They entertained themselves for hours with the water.

Glad we got that play structure.

First Shopping Excursion

Looking back on my own childhood, I remember fondly the shopping trips my mum and I used to have. We would drive to the mall on a Friday night, look around at the clothes and accessories, perhaps buy an item or two, have some nice conversations, and drive home.

Hopefully these fond memories are beginning with my own daughter. Leila accompanied me to the mall to shop for "back to work" clothes. I think she loved it.

Laden down with large quantities of clothes to try on, Leila and I strolled into the dressing room. She smiled and laughed as I tried on each outfit. Then, as we left, she began to cry. Is this an indication of a future shopping companion?

Oak Trees

The day before we left Boston, MA after getting Simi's heart fixed, the boys picked up acorns in the park across the street from our apartment. According to Simi, it was one of his favorite activities of the trip. He loved it so much that he continued to pick up acorns once we returned home.

One of our friends suggested we plant the acorns as a remembrance of the trip/experience. We loved the idea and Raj searched the Internet to find instructions on how to get them to grow.

The Simi and Asher helped us plant the acorns in soil, and we waited...

We now have more than five little oak trees growing in our window box. Lovely reminders of this time of rebirth.

Snips and Snails and Puppy-dog Tails

True to the stereotype, the boys love their rocks and slithery things. The other day, on a trip to the dollar store to redeem their activity chart rewards, both boys chose rubber snakes for their prize. These seemingly real things now curl around dinner chairs and the foot of the bed and are definitely not for the squeamish among us.

Not to mention the big ol' frog and the fish who live in tanks in the boys' bedroom.

Quite frequently, Simi picks up rocks from school and brings them home to me. He holds them up to me as if they were the most precious diamonds in the universe. To me, those rocks certainly are the most precious stones imaginable.

It'll be interesting to see if Leila shares the boys' interests in things that slither when she's a bit older.

Dragon Feet

While preparing for our Indian wedding ceremony, the wonderful women that helped me get ready put on one final touch: a small black mark around the back of my jaw. It was to signify that the bride was perfect with the exception of this one small imperfection.

That small imperfection is like Simi's toes. He has the ugliest toes. The problem is mainly in the nails, which are curved and wavy. We tease him and call them his "dragon feet". He is absolutely perfect, with the exception of this one small (and minor) imperfection.

Lovely Leila

Leila had her two-month doctor appointment the other day. After the traditional weigh and measure, we learned of her new growth percentiles. She is still in the 50th percentile for height but has now moved into the 95th percentile for weight. She's a fatty! Our little Leila is a fat girl! After having two skinny boys, the pediatrician and I couldn't help but share a laugh at the chubby little legs and the round Buddha belly on the Leila. She must get that from the RUBEN side of the family.

On Being Two

Asher is, indeed, two years old. When he is with Simi, he seems so much older. His communication and gross and fine motor skills are at about a three year-old level, so it's easy to think of him as being older than his chronological age. But when you get to spend time with him one-on-one, you get to see that, emotionally, he really is two.

Asher stayed home with Leila and me for the past two days. It was a wonderfully scrumptious two days. He's such a sweet boy and such a happy kid that it's fun to be around him. Luckily, the weather was also absolutely beautiful, so we spent some time outside. I wish I could have more days like these past two.

Two Year Old Asher

Asher has always tried to keep up with his big brother. He wants to do everything Simi does. He watched Simi use the potty and then potty-trained himself well before his 2nd birthday. He takes Simi's clothes and puts them on himself.

So it comes as a surprise when Asher does something, well, age appropriate. He seems so much older than his two years, that when he does something a two year-old would do, it takes me by surprise.

Yesterday was one of those days. Asher has been having bouts of "the twos", otherwise known as the "terrible twos" or "terrific twos". Totally normal behaviour - for a two-year old. It's a reminder that my sweet baby is, still indeed, a baby.

Simi's Menagerie

When Simi was just born, his aunt and uncle gave him two small, soft stuffed animals. One was a frog and the other a little brown puppy-dog. We put them in Simi's crib with him (another practice that's frowned upon these days).

As months went by, Simi-the-infant began to grab for one of the animals. It was always the same one: the puppy-dog. At first we thought it was just chance that he'd grab for the dog; perhaps that was the closest one to him or perhaps that was the one we'd give him. But if we gave him the frog, he'd drop it and reach for the puppy.

Four years later, "Puppy" is a member of our family. In fact, last year we put a "pet id tag" on the dog after we nearly lost it twice while traveling. Puppy was with Simi in the operating room during his open heart surgery. Sometimes Puppy even talks; his voice sounds remarkably like Simi's.

Simi's menagerie continually grows. Puppy is joined by "Dottie", a Dalmatian "beanie-baby" dog. He's also joined by "Blackie", a small stuffed Dalmatian dog. Most recently Puppy is joined by "Baby Sister", the baby doll we gave the boys before Leila was born. Sometimes he sleeps with all or some of his menagerie; sometimes all or some accompany Simi to where-ever he is going.

Interestingly, the stuffed frog sits on a shelf with some other stuffed animals. And Simi absolutely LOVES frogs.

Of course, Puppy is the consistent one in Simi's arms.

Leila's Birth Announcement

Hot off the presses: here is Leila's birth announcement!

It's a Love Affair

Leila is five weeks old now and beginning to wake up from her newborn slumber. She's so sweet and cuddly and, well, "huggly". I think I can spend all day cradling her in my arms and smelling her sweet newborn scent.

She knows who I am. When she's awake, she looks at me with tender eyes. And now, when I look at her with that silly grin on my face, she smiles back with an incredibly sweet, gummy smile. I'm head over heals in love.

One month old

Leila celebrated her one month birthday yesterday. Simi said we need to celebrate her birthday. He suggested going to "one of the special birthday party places", because "they're a lot more fun than having a party at home."

At Leila's one month check-up today, she weighed 10 lbs. 12 oz. That's exactly a three pound weight gain in one month. Good eating Leila!

Oh, and she's still the perfect baby.

Speaking of Heat Defects...

The Winter Olympics are now upon us and we get to watch the Olympic athletes doing their thing in Italy in search of the ultimate SMO (shiny medal object). It surprised me to learn that Shaun White, the red-headed American who won the gold medal in snowboarding, had two heart surgeries before he was a year old to repair a congenital heart defect.

Looks like his heart is fixed.

Way to go Shaun! Congratulations on your achievements.

Hindsight

It's been over four months now since Simi's open heart surgery. He's fine now. We've moved on, happy to be on this side of the surgery.

And not a day goes by when I don't think about the surgery in hindsight. We did the right thing. We went to the right hospital; got the right doctor. Simi had the best repair; the best possible recovery. And he's now better than new. We can breathe a sigh of relief. And we can move on.

And every day I give thanks for that outcome.

Adjusting

Every time we try to anticipate our child's/children's reactions to something, they always surprise us. They just never seem to react in the way we guess they will. Adjusting to Leila's arrival is no exception. Both Raj and I expected Asher to have some serious issues by seeing Leila in his mum's arms and we expected Simi to have no issues at all. Instead, Asher took in the newcomer with open arms and Simi is the one with the adjustment issues.

Yes, it's true: Simi, our sweet, good-natured, easy-going, loving boy has started acting out. He has started to be aggressive to Asher and has been whiny and defiant to us.

Admittedly, Simi's behavior, combined with my sleep-deprived state, has brought out some unsavory parenting skills in me. I'm short-tempered (even worse than normal for me!) and it just makes everyone miserable. I need a change in parenting style to help Simi (and all of us!) adjust better.

The Middle Child

Asher is now the middle child. Just three short weeks ago, he was the baby of the family. Now, he's in the middle. The 'forgotten' one.

It's easy to see how a person is affected by where they are in their familial birth order. Poor Asher, who once received a ton of attention, is now sandwiched between Simi, who makes absolutely certain he gets as much attention as possible, and Leila, who gets all the attention she needs. Asher just tags along after Simi, following in his wake like a little tugboat in the wake of a giant cruise ship.

Truthfully, Asher doesn't seem to mind - at least not right now. Asher idolizes his big brother and happily tags along after Simi. And hopefully Asher will start getting more of his own attention in the near future.

Lounging Leila

For the first month after Simi was born, his adorable little body stayed in the same position he was in while in utero: his arms were bunched up near his face and his legs were drawn up to his belly. Asher, too, was the exact same way. Little by little they uncurled their limbs and stretched out.

Leila, on the other hand, loves the lounging position. Yes, her adorable hands are crunched up to her face, but her legs are stretched out like she's laying on a chaise lounge by poolside. She was born lounging.

Two Week Mark

Leila had her two week doctor visit the other day. She gained exactly a pound in nine days. That's a lot.

I mentioned to the doctor that Leila is the perfect baby. Leila responded by keeping me awake from 11 PM to 4:30 AM that night. What a little teaser! That'll learn me for making such statements...

How Quickly Things Change

Finally, with baby #3, I learn how to swaddle a baby. As soon as I learned, I read that we shouldn't swaddle babies anymore because they could overheat, be trapped in their blanket, and die. Now I'm glad I never learned how to swaddle a baby before.

It's amazing how quickly things change. Like the swaddling thing, tips and techniques on how to best raise a child changes so quickly. Just four years ago, when Simi was brand-new, the "experts" said that you should sleep with your baby and use a humidifier in the winter to help with the dry air. Now you should never sleep with your baby - for fear of suffocation. And that humidifier? It could be gathering bacteria and spitting it out into the air -- and that's bad. Now, instead of a $35.00 humidifier, you need to buy a $100+ ultrasonic humidifier that purifies the air before spitting it into the room.

If expert advice changes this fast, I can only imagine how the grand-parents of this generation feels with all the changes.

Leila Update

Goodness! So much has happened this past week; where do we begin?

So far, Leila's been the most laid-back baby. We're still in that newborn honeymoon phase, where she's primarily sleeping, eating, and pooping/peeing -- and that's it. But she's doing all those things so incredibly sweetly. We're all head over heals in love with her.

The boys have welcomed her with open arms. Even Asher, who always has to be with his mama, hasn't even shown any signs of jealousy at all. To Asher, Leila's just another family member to love and hug and hold.

We'll post new photos as soon as we have a spare moment...

Pictures of newborn Leila

I didn't get any really good shots, but here's a couple to get started.

Leila arrives!

Born Jan 21, 2006 at 10:36pm by C-Section
7lb 12oz
19.7in

Baby and mom are doing well.

Liz's water broke a little before 8pm. Leila was transverse so we went staight to C, and all went well. We're still waiting for Leila to get her shots and cleaned up and arrive in this room so Liz can finally hold her, soon...

-raj

Impatiently Awaiting Baby

Baby Sister hasn't even been born yet and she's already giving us trouble...

My body this week has been so incredibly painful, that I decided to have it checked out before my regularly scheduled appointment. It's a chronic pain and I just can't get away from it. And the thought of induction day being so far away made me cry.

Anyway, I'm really glad I did. I learned that 1. Her heartbeat is absolutely beautiful and 2. She really likes laying sideways in her womb. In the 10 minutes the sonographer spent looking at her, her head moved from my right hip to my right rib. She's nowhere near where she should be, which is why labor is not progressing at all. And that's why it's so incredibly painful. Having a full-term baby laying sideways inside you -- and stretching out - is quite uncomfortable.

The doctor, midwife, nurse, and sonographer conferenced around the ultrasound machine to try to figure out what to do about the situation.

I'm still considering my options to determine what's best for me and #3.

On the bright side, the sonographer treated me to a 3D picture of #3. On the screen, you could really tell what she looked like. Good golly, it was almost like seeing her outside the womb; it was that clear.

If this is her personality, Raj and I have a lifetime of thrills and spills with this one. It reminds me of "a mother's curse", where the mother says to her child during a particularly exasperating moment, "when you grow up, I hope you have a child JUST LIKE YOU."

I can hear my mum - up in heaven or where-ever she is - chuckling now.

So, it looks like January 22nd or 23rd will be Baby Sister's birthday. Three or four more sleeps - that's STILL a VERY LONG way off!

Leila's first picture

Liz got a nice 3-d ultrasound picture yesterday, cool!

Still Waiting

Today is officially baby sister's due date and she's still safely ensconced in her womb with absolutely no desire to leave it. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; she has been served her eviction notice. If she doesn't make her appearance on her own, then she will be evicted on Sunday, January 22nd. It seems a LONG way away...

Three Month Mark

On January 6th, we celebrated Simi's 3 month anniversary of his open heart surgery. This day is significant in that his bones should be completely healed and he has no more restrictions on his activity. He can now climb the monkey bars or collide with school-mates on the playground without fear of injuring his breastbone.

Other than that, it was a normal day.

Simi has gained a total of 5 lbs. in the 3 months since his surgery. That's an increase of 20% over his original body weight. He looks great! If you look at him, you'd still say he's quite thin, but he's a "healthy" thin rather than a "concentration-camp victim" thin.

The Waiting Game

The title says it all: Baby Sister is still safely ensconsed in her womb. Truthfully, her due date isn't until next week, so it's still early. I guess I shouldn't have been so certain that she'd be born early. Or perhaps I should have taken that scheduled c-section on December 27th when I had the chance. Argh, the waiting game...I think this is the worst part.

The question that remains on the top of my list is: will I get more -- or less -- sleep once Baby Sister is born?

Anyway, no news about #3's arrival and the boys, surprisingly enough, haven't done anything especially cute in the past few days to post about.

Hugs

The other day, Simi and Asher were bickering over a toy. Just before one of us parents could intervene, however, Asher turns to Simi and says, "Let's hug each other." Toy was dropped and hugs ensued. Parents' hearts just melted away.

Since then, they hug each other all the time. And then they fall down together in a big heap and laugh and tumble around. Then they get up and do it again.

What Does the "D" Say?

As you know, Asher is addicted to the television. We're now actively limiting his TV-watching and changing his program/DVD watching to educational programs.

So now, when he watches TV, one of the main things he watches is the Leap Frog "Talking Letters Factory" DVD. In this DVD, cartoon characters walk a family of children through a letter factory. There are 26 individual rooms in the factory and in each room is a letter. They show the letter and say its sound. From a parent's perspective, it's quite well-done and entertaining. And maybe it'll help him learn his letters.

Asher was engrossed in the DVD this evening while Simi and Raj were eating their ice-cream dessert. Raj decided to quiz Asher on the letters.

"What does the 'E' say, Asher?", asks Raj.
"Eh" comes the correct response from our engrossed 2 year-old.

"What does the 'D' say, Asher?", Raj asks another question.
"Daddy-o!", replies Asher.


Now where did THAT come from?