Eulogy for my father, Dr. Phirtu Singh

On October 28, 2009 my father passed away. On November 10, we had the final Puja for my father. Here are the notes I used for the eulogy I gave/read.

Most of you are here because you knew and loved my father as a friend.

My relationship with him as a child is obviously different, and as with most children my relationship with my father changed much as I grew older.

As a child, we always loved our Daddy, but it was unfathomable that he would insist that we do all of our homework, or that we follow rules all of the time even when it was terribly inconvenient, or that we couldn’t watch the special TV show we wanted to watch.

Of course as I grew older, I grew to understand, and eventually even grew to appreciate that these were signs of a good father. And that's how I remember him now, especially when I make similar decisions now that I am a father myself and experience many of the same things from his perspective.

And over the years I picked up pieces of information about him that implied he actually had a life before I was around.

He had many friends in grad school. He was actually a child at one point, who enjoyed sports and was a very good field hockey player, and loved to sing and was very good at that as well. And of course he was a very good student, which is what led him to this country. These little glimpses of the man have become a significant part of how I remember him.

And he had some struggles while raising a family.

As a young man he had to deal with the death of his first child as a young boy, which is a pain almost unimaginable to bear.

Writing a PhD dissertation is a struggle on its own, but doing that with young children is hard to imagine. Especially one who thought a hand typed draft of the dissertation would make a fun toy to spread around the living room.

And when we were in elementary school and he needed to find a new job, he limited his job search to this local area so the kids wouldn't have to change schools.

But mostly I remember the man who raised us.

We were never wealthy, but we always had whatever we needed.

When I came home on weekends during college, he was happy to come out and get me.

Some of my fondest memories are trivial things that we did together.

Driving up to the UNC campus and playing tennis, neither of us were any good, but it was playing tennis with my dad. Or tagging along to the computer lab and typing randomly on the punchcards and drawing on printouts.

We had many friends, and many adopted families.

When we moved here, the town was much smaller and the Indian community was much much smaller. So they were friends with probably most of the Indian community back then.

My mom and dad also made friends quickly, and many became part of our extended family. I remember meeting Cumali at the local Roses while shopping with my mom, and she and her family became close friends of our family.

And people from out of town, anyone who had any way to know them, always had a place to go for a little piece of home.

Thanksgiving always had somebody new joining us.

And my mom babysat for many kids who became like family, and still keep in touch after many years.

My mom and dad were auntie and uncle to many.

It’s been almost 8 years since his stroke

It’s been a difficult life for him, limiting his mobility and his speech. But fortunately he still had his mind.

Shingles was in some ways worse than the stroke, taking away much of the improvement he had made in his mobility and speech.

It was in many ways a miserable life to lead. And yet it wasn't. Largely because my mom did an unimaginably huge amount of work to care for him, he was still able to have a good life. Certainly not the quality of life we wish he could have had, but still a very good life with many joys. He still enjoyed the company of a loving wife; he still enjoyed visits from friends, he still enjoyed watching his favorite TV shows and sports events. And more than anything he enjoyed having grandchildren around, even if he couldn’t interact with them the way he would have liked, he loved having them around. It is unfortunate that his stroke occurred less than two months after the birth of his first grandchild, but we were blessed to have him live long enough to see and enjoy the company of four more beautiful grandchildren. And he stayed in good spirits; I remember the day he made his last trip to the hospital he was smiling in the hospital room and that made us smile too.

Now he’s off in a new life without many of the pains, and we’re happy that we had as much time with him as we did, but we're very sad that he’s not with us any more. And we'll always remember our beloved Daddy.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

This week has been a wild ride for us in the HinJew household. Aside from the bottom dropping out of the economy and the gobs of "ripples" felt from that, aside from the fear of "what in the world is going to happen next", we're "enjoying" our own spinning teacups and bottomless free-fall that comes with Asher's disease.

On Monday, Asher's kindergarten class drew letters using corn grits. About two hours after the fact, Asher's teacher thought, hmmnnn...perhaps that's not such a good thing for Asher to be doing and called me. I wished she had called earlier.

Corn is like touching Drano for Asher. It really is like a chemical burn on his skin and it makes him horrifically sick. In the past, touching corn has caused Asher about two solid weeks of sickness and vomiting and a loss of several pounds of body weight. So I'm thrilled to report that he suffered no/little ill effects from the corn. This is HUGE! It's really amazing and is proof that we're on the right track. I really and truly can't believe that he didn't get sick, particularly after taking that huge allergen hit by rolling down the hill at the company picnic. Amazing.

That was Monday.

Tuesday was gymnastics. The kid was a disaster. They worked on the balance beam, which is Asher's worst area. He was particularly congested on Tuesday. He couldn't do a doggone thing on the balance beam. He even struggled with things that he's been able to do in the past. I am beginning to see a correlation between Asher's congestion and his balance/coordination.

Asher's gymnastics teacher got really frustrated with Asher. She's clearly never had a student like Asher before. She let her frustration get the best of her and, well, almost crossed the line of being hurtful to Asher. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Frankly, I've been in that state before and I can understand being that frustrated. But then again, I'm not a teacher.

On Tuesday, Asher brought home his progress report. In short, he's failing kindergarten. He got nearly all check minuses. We've said that we wanted him to repeat kindergarten but we didn't want him to FLUNK OUT of kindergarten! That's a different story.

Back to gymnastics: After his class, Asher came upstairs to where I was sitting and saw the jigsaw puzzle left behind by Simi (who just started his class) and excitedly started to do the puzzle. This particular puzzle is for age 2 - it's very simple. Asher quickly put three pieces together and excitedly looked to me for praise and I just died inside. None of the pieces even remotely matched and he really had to force the pieces together to "fit". They were a VERY obvious mismatch. After seeing his horrendous report card, watching this particularly atrocious gym class and now seeing this pathetic puzzle effort - I had to really struggle to keep my composure. It took everything I had not to bawl my eyes out in front of him.

Tuesday was not a good day for Asher.

So now he does jigsaw puzzles every day after school. I quiz him on simple math in the car on the way to school. And I'm feeling a small bit more optimistic about his intellectual capability.

We've been working incredibly hard to clear his congestion. Clearing his congestions helps him - a lot - or so it seems.

On Wednesday, I had a talk with the exception children's coordinator at Asher's school. I've been bugging him since this summer about Asher. Hopefully he'll start giving us some help. Asher needs it.

Now, toward the end of the week, Asher's energy level is rising to amazingly high levels. Raj even used the word "hyper-active" to describe Asher today. It's hard to believe, but Raj is right. I never thought we'd ever use that word to describe Asher. It truly was just a few months ago when I, literally, had to drag Asher out of bed in the morning. And now here he is unable to sit still for a minute. Unbelievable.

As you can see, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is taking us for quite the spin.

Asher Update

Asher has been taking oregano oil for nearly a month now and the results have been astounding. It's absolutely amazing. The most obvious ways: he seems so much healthier now. The puffiness and allergic shiners are gone (with the exception of today - more details to follow) and his sinus congestion is almost gone - still a bit of trace of that. The congestion really wants to hang on. The patch of eczema is gone from under his eye. We've been able to stop giving him two of his medicines - Prevacid and Ketotifen - which is a REALLY big deal. He has more energy - but that's probably from the B12 spray we're also giving him.

So here are the real interesting ways he's improved: he has more balance and coordination. I don't understand the connection between gastro-intestinal distress and balance and coordination, but there certainly seems to be in Asher's case. In Saturday's soccer game, a boy on the other team pushed Asher and he didn't fall down! He kept his balance. He kept his balance and I cried.

You should see him in gymnastics. He can follow directions, he can stay on task, and he can do what all the other children do in the class. He's been taking gymnastics for a year now. Every week, I watch him in the class and silently beg for him to pay attention, go through each of the stations, and do as well as the other children. I've tried bribing him. I tell him I'm watching - and I do. And no matter how hard he worked, nothing changed until we killed the MRSA. Now, I watch Asher and tears of extreme happiness run down my face. He looks just like all the other children. OK, so he's probably the worst in the class, but at least he doesn't look out of place now. Now when I watch him, tears of joy stream down my face and I say silent thank you's. It's amazing.

His running seems better too, although there's still a lot of room for progress. But, heck, I'll take what I can get.

His brain seems to have unfogged a bit, too, although, again, there's still room for improvement.

Just yesterday we went to a company picnic. The grass on campus is absolutely gorgeous. It's thick and lush and there are lots of fun places to roll down the hills. The grass is also full of chemicals and the blades of grass are so thick and sharp that it cuts you. Rolling on that grass is like giving yourself a bazillion paper cuts and getting tons of chemicals in your skin in the process. I've rolled down the hill on that grass and suffered skin rashes and itchiness so severe it lasted for weeks. When Lula, one of our dogs, was a puppy, I'd take her for walks on campus and she'd get red, patchy, itchy welts from the chemicals on the grass. So, when I saw Asher and Simi and a good friend of theirs rolling down the hill, I cringed. I wondered just how long he'd suffer a reaction. I wondered if we'd have to hospitalize him. And I wondered how long it would take until we'd see the inevitable reaction.

I'm thrilled to report that, so far, aside from a bad case of hay fever, he seems to be OK. The dark circles returned under his eyes and he's sneezing and has a runny nose. But that's it! No hospitalization. No skin problems. I consider that an amazing improvement in his health. And yes, I was dancing the jig that my son has "merely" a case of environmental allergies.

My goal is to take the oregano oil for six weeks total, then after a month being off the oregano oil we'll test to see if the MRSA is gone. But it's really hard to take the oregano oil. I take it with him because it's really nasty stuff. And it makes my stomach hurt. I can only imagine how it makes his stomach feel. So, I'll be happy if we get to five weeks. Heck, we may have to stop at four weeks- it's that bad. I'd really like Leila to take it too. Her congestion returned after she stopped taking it. Truthfully, it's really hard to get a 2 year-old to take this incredibly nasty stuff. They just don't understand. So, we may be battling MRSA for awhile.

Well, there's a lot more, but I'm really tired. Julie, my apologies for the delayed update.

Until soon..

Day Six - Oregano Oil

We are one day past the "Dreaded Day Five" of Oregano Oil and all's well. Asher's dragon breath is gone, is congestion is improved (but not completely gone), and the allergic shiners under his eyes are gone. The kid has so much energy he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's getting into all sorts of trouble.

Asher had a soccer game on Saturday and did his best ever. And at today's soccer practise, he broke a sweat. He NEVER runs hard enough to break a sweat - so it's a VERY big deal!

Another milestone: On Saturday, Asher was able to sit down and put together a Lego Knight by himself (with a little guidance from me, but mainly by himself). He's never been able to focus that much before. I'm certain it's because his body feels SOOO much better.

It obviously seems like we're going down the right path. Even if this doesn't improve his EE, it certainly is helping his overall health. Raj made a comment yesterday that when we do the follow-up lab tests, he suspects we'll find a/some parasites (there seems to be some sort of relationship between parasites and bad bacteria). When the body has parasites, the eosinophils attack them, which causes eosinophilic esophagitis. Interestingly, even though parasites are one of the known causes of EE, Asher has never been tested for parasites before.

If the follow-up lab results show parasites, removing them will DEFINITELY help cure Asher's EE.

Oil of Oregano

Now that Asher has recovered from his allergic reaction to the Bactrim, it's time to stir things up again. His dragon breath and constant congestion returned once he stopped taking the Bactrim, which indicates that the MRSA has returned. Good golly, it feels sooo good to know what's been causing these two things!

So here's the deal: we have a pretty good clue that the MRSA has returned. We also know that Asher cannot tolerate Bactrim. Our only other antibiotic option is Vancomycin, which can cause permanent kidney damage and/or permanent deafness. Hmmmnnn...

When the lab identified the MRSA, they also did sensitivity tests. That's when they found it sensitive to Bactrim and Vancomycin. They also found it sensitive to some herbal options - about ten of them. I googled each option, read about it, and chose Oregano Oil. I read about some startling antibacterial qualities of oregano oil and decided it to be worth a try. And yes, it's true, I have officially crossed the line to "crazy mum". But perhaps we can find a safe way to get rid of the MRSA.

We're all taking it. And interestingly, after a mere day - one teeny tiny drop of oil - and our congestion is nearly gone. All three of the children were rather congested. Their congestion has diminished considerably. Go figure.

This stuff is tough to take. I'm glad I'm taking it along with the children, because it's incredibly mean to impose on someone. I think the children get a kick out of seeing me hate it just as much as they do. Heck, if it helps Asher, I'd do a whole lot worse than take some icky burning nasty oil.

Information on oregano oil can be found here and here. You can find a million more sites by simply typing in those two words into Google.

So, stay tuned to find out if Oregano Oil helps cure Asher of his MRSA....

Asher Update

It's time for a quite unusual Asher update:

I think someone flipped a switch on Asher or gave us a different kid who looks like Asher. This kid has more energy then he - and we - know what to do with. Physically, he's doing things with ease that he found impossible to do - ever. For example, Asher has physical therapy homework. Among the routine of things he is supposed to do, he is supposed to do ten sit-ups with knees bent and hands behind the head. We've been helping Asher do these sit-ups for nearly a year now. He needs a pillow for support and we have to use our hands to help him do the sit-up. Yet today he did those ten sit-ups by himself - no help at all - with ease. Huh???

The kid has SO MUCH energy - he's literally jumping all over the place. Poor kid is getting into quite a bit of trouble. I know what's going on, but it's still not OK to punch your brother in the stomach.

It's so nice to have this kind of problem.

Leila and the Leapster

Several years ago, Aunt Karen and Uncle Peter gave Simi a Leapster as a present. Simi loves his Leapster. Over the years, we have added game cartridges and the Leapster is still one of Simi's favorite things to play. Which is why Leila had to pick it up and give it a try.

Admittedly, I found it amusing watching Leila attempt the Leapster. It's for ages four to eight and she's two. She's a little young to master the Leapster. But it kept her amused even if she couldn't get the thing to work.

To my surprise, as I was listening to her playing the Leapster yesterday, she was answering all the questions correctly. She got her colors, shapes, and letters correct. She even logged on under her name and managed to collect 343 seeds - which means she's been doing some serious winning on the thing. She's two!

That'll teach me to under-estimate my girl...

Dragon Breath Returns

In other news, Asher's dragon breath, stuffy nose, puffy eyes, and dark circles under the eyes have returned.

Size Does Matter

Although Leila absolutely adores Simi, she chooses to play with Asher. The other day, we learned why. "Simi is a big kid", says Leila. "Asher is a little kid, like me", she continues. OK, then. Now we know.

For the record, although Asher is four years old and Simi is six years old, Asher is almost as tall as Simi.

Leili's Hair

Me: Come here, Leila, let's fix your hair.

Leila: But it's not broken.

One More Thing....

In different news, since we stopped the antibiotic, Asher's congestion has returned. It increased each day until now it's nearly back to what it used to be. Harumpf!

Kindergarten Asher

Asher started Kindergarten on Monday. In his typical "go with the flow" attitude, he just went along with everything. He got to his room and found his seat and began playing with the blocks at his space. I didn't cry. It was a good start to a new year.

When I picked him up from school at the end of each day, Asher told me about what he did that day at school. He got really animated when talking about the puzzles he did and the gym time he had. Puzzles and physical activity are two of the most difficult things for Asher, so it surprised me that he highlighted those activities.

Asher's new school is really amazing. Every single thing about this school is exceptional. If it were closer to our home, it would be perfect.

At dinner last night, Asher asked if the next day (Saturday) was a school day. Since Asher is always asking for "stay-home days" (week-ends), I thought he'd be happy to hear that the next day was a stay-home day. Instead, he was sad. He wanted to go back to school.

Some Noteworthy Observations

Since Asher started the antibiotic to kill the MRSA in his gut, we noticed some interesting items.

1. His dragon breath is gone. For as long as he's been on this planet, Asher has had the absolute WORST breath on the planet. No amount of tooth-brushing, dental flossing, or mouth-rinsing reduces the smell. But now it's gone. Completely gone. No more dragon breath for Asher.
2. Interestingly, even though we're in the height of allergy season for grasses (8 on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 the highest) and even though this allergy season normally kicks his butt and HAS kicked his butt recently, today I noticed that Asher's nose is completely clear. No congestion. No dark circles or puffiness under his eyes. Asher ALWAYS has congestion and dark circles under his eyes, by the way. Today it's completely gone.

I can figure out some logic for the breath, but the lack of congestion baffles me. I'm incredibly grateful and thankful for the two changes.

Kindergarten Asher

Yesterday, Asher attended his kindergarten orientation. My "life of the party" child gets amazingly shy when introduced to new people and places. He was stuck on me so strongly, I firmly believe he would have crawled back into the womb if he could have.

The school is absolutely beautiful. The school's brand-new building was completed just a few weeks ago. They are still working on a few areas outside the building. The design is practical and breath-taking. The main doors open to a large 2-story meeting room with lots of big windows, which display the foliage of the trees outside. Everyone walking in utters an involuntary "WOW!" while they walk inside. It's gorgeous.

Asher's kindergarten teacher is the kind of teacher one wishes for all children. She has white hair and knows exactly what to say in every situation and promises a year of adventure and exploration. Her wish list includes bird food, empty coffee cans, and butterfly nets. Class size is limited to 15.

Of the two kindergarten classes, one is nut-free and the other isn't. Naturally, Asher was placed in the room which isn't nut-free. Yeah, that makes sense. Yes, we're talking about it and making a plan to keep him safe. This teacher, even when I talked to her about Asher's allergies, she didn't blink an eye and said, "We'll do everything we need to do to keep him safe. Let's you and I talk about what we need to do." A parent's dream.

The biggest problem with this school is that it's perfect. We needed a place where Asher could attend for just a year, then repeat kindergarten next year at the same school Simi attends. As good as this school is, we're not going to want to leave it. Ah, the best-laid plans...we'll see how it goes...

In other Asher news, he's slowly recovering from this latest allergic reaction. This latest reaction took it all from Asher and left him completely annihilated. Today was the first day in over a week that he ate solid food. Yesterday was his first good sleep and today he showed a bit of energy. Signs of recovery - phew!

Speaking of Crashes

We identified the cause of Asher's most recent allergic reaction. He suffered an allergic reaction from the Bactrim that we're giving him to kill the MRSA infection. I figured it out on Monday after a rash popped out all over his body. A google search confirmed that others have had the exact same side effects as Asher. Why aren't these side effects listed on the literature given with the medication????

It's encouraging that he managed to go for 9-12 days before suffering a reaction. And hopefully that was enough time to rid his body of the MRSA. We intend to do a follow-up test to check and will use a different antibiotic if necessary.

Asher is still recuperating. This reaction wiped him out completely.

In other news:

• On our way to the pediatrician's office yesterday to have him checked out, Asher and I got into a car accident. So we then got to go to urgent care for both the allergic reaction and the car accident. We were driving the Subaru. I'm hoping that it gets totalled; I've always hated that car.
• Our sweet 14 year-old Spotted Dog is really struggling health wise. He was still behaving like a puppy just a few months ago; now he's acting his age. The thought of losing him is devastating.
• I got a new job!

CRASH!

Asher's good energy wave has come to an end. In fact, Asher is now sicker than he has been in a long time. He's completely crashed.

Asher was riding such a good wave for such a long time that we got used to it. In a way, I think we started taking it for granted that he was feeling so good. It started feeling normal to us. This low he is in right now is the polar opposite of the high he's been riding. I haven't seen him this sick since we trialed beef.

Asher has spent most of the week-end on the couch. He's complaining of a head-ache, tummy ache, full body ache, and whatever else he can complain about. It hurts to eat. He has no energy and spends every possible moment sleeping. Thank G-d for elemental formula, which lets him drink his nutrition. The elemental formula will get him through this bad spell.

Now we have to figure out the cause. That's the fun part. Let's figure out what seemingly innocuous thing is destroying my kid. Of course we have to figure it out quickly, to help get Asher out of the state he's in. Ugh.

Fools

When I was in the Peace Corps, I drove a motorcycle. I remember the months before I got that motorcycle. I had to walk miles - each way - from my house to my job. And it was hot. Many times I got a ride because lots of guys wanted to have "the american" on the back of their bikes. Then it was a hassle getting rid of the ride. And when I had to go to town to buy food or get my mail, it was a day-long trip in a crammed "gua-gua". So, I was thrilled when I learned that Peace Corps was going to provide me with a motorcycle.

I chose a Honda 100. They had Honda 125s, but they were so tall (or my legs were so short) that my feet couldn't reach the ground. I loved that Honda 100. It was similar to a motocross bike and went everywhere. I took that bike on goat paths, across rivers, up mountains - you name it. Without a doubt, it changed my Peace Corps experience.

Now, in the Dominican Republic, where I lived, it was HOT. I'm not joking. I lived in the desert part of the DR and it routinely got to about 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Although in the winter it got "so cold" that you had to wear long sleeves while riding the motorcycle at night. Brrr. Anyway, it was so hot that I'd want to wear lightweight clothing - and as little of it as I could possibly get away with.

Thing is, I'm riding a motorcycle. And since one just never knows when an accident is going to happen, the best thing to do is "be prepared". So...I wore jeans while riding that bike. Thick jeans. Yes, it was hot. Those jeans saved my legs from tons of stuff that could have happened. Like, when I fell off my bike while climbing a goat path. Or when someone ran into me at an intersection. I'm glad I wore those jeans.

Although I LOVED that motorcycle, I'd NEVER ride one in the US. People drive faster here. I think it has to do with the fact that we have paved roads and highways. Thing is, if you fall off your bike while driving these big speeds, you can get REALLY hurt. And the big cars in the US don't see motorcycles, so they cut you off. Even now that the price of gas is prohibitively expensive, I would never even consider getting a motorcycle. Folks who ride motorcycles say that it's not a matter of IF, but rather WHEN, that accident is going to happen. That money that you save on gas doesn't do you ANY good if you get killed or seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. It's just not worth the risk.

But imagine my surprise when, the other day, I saw a young lady riding a motorcycle dressed in a light summer dress. She was on the city streets near Duke - where traffic cuts in and out and all over the place. The wind blew up her dress and showed her panties to the entire world. Aside from the obvious, I couldn't help but think that she's risking an awful lot of road rash when the inevitable fall happens. I'm sure that lots of drivers took their eyes off the road when she passed by - further increasing the risk of a crash. She did nothing to change my impression of Duke students - but that's a different blog entry for a different day.

So, folks, if you're going to ride that motorcycle, be sure to protect your skin and body as much as you can. Keep in mind that it's very difficult for folks in cars to see you - so you have to be prepared. And don't forget the helmet. Or better yet, get an economical vehicle with a good mpg rating. Some things are just not worth the risk.

Pre-School Graduation

Today was Asher's last day of pre-school. He starts kindergarten soon.

At Asher's pre-school, they have a small graduation ceremony just before lunch. They craft a graduation cap out of cardboard and tape and make a tassel from thin rope. They create a diploma and the head of the pre-school and the teachers sign it. Then, during circle time, Asher was called up and each child said a few words to him. He received his diploma. Then everyone gave him a great big hug. Then he got to have his last lunch in the big cafeteria. Now, next time he returns, it'll be as a visitor.

We didn't prepare Asher as well as we should have for the transition. I mean, he knew that he was leaving and going to kindergarten. But we didn't tell him until yesterday that he would be graduating today. And we didn't put it together for him that today would be his last day - never to return. Truthfully, I didn't put it together in my head either. It took me by surprise too. I didn't prepare any thank you for his teachers. And now I feel absolutely crappy about that. I know I can go back and do something - and I will. But it's not the same.

But back to Asher: We told Asher this morning that today was his last day. He got very sad and said that he wanted to graduate -- and then go back. He wants to stay in preschool. He has so much fun there. He has all his friends there. He wants to stay.

I'd like him to stay too. He's not ready for kindergarten. But those are the rules.

Back to Asher again: He had a wonderful graduation ceremony. He had a wonderful lunch. Then, when Simi came home from school, the two of them got to play at Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate.

And now, ready or not, Asher's on his way to kindergarten.

Gabby

Here is a news story about a little girl named Gabby who has the same disease as Asher.

That Gabby-girl is a little cutie!

Introducing Petita

Two year-old Leila is a great big personality in a teeny tiny little pint-size body. She's under the 25th percentile in height for her age group and 95 percentile in weight. But what she lacks in size, she more than makes up for in attitude. In reaction to something, she crinkles up her little nose and says, "I don't like it", with such gusto and spirit that you truly believe her and back away.

As you know, we used to call her "Leili", which is short for "Leilita". In pure Leila form, she replied, "I NOT Leili, I'm Leila!!!". OK, then.

So imagine our surprise when, the other day, Leila announces that her name is "Petita".

"I NOT Leila", Leila says, with her nose all crinkled up. "I Petita." OK, Petita, eat your breakfast, please.

Petita toddles off after her brothers, following them in whatever they do. Jumping into the trampoline pit - no problem for Petita. Running after and kicking a soccer ball - sounds good. Making your hand in the shape of a gun and chasing your brothers around the house while making shooting sounds at them - that too.

Then there's the sweet side of Petita, where she hugs her baby doll as she drags her across the room. Or when she goes into her pretend kitchen and fixes you a meal and toddles sweetly over to you and hands you the plate full of pretend "eggies and pasta" or an empty cup of tea.

I can't wait to see what name she chooses next.