Reader Simi

The other day, Raj came home with two new books - one for Simi and one for Asher. The one for Simi was a grade 1 book based on the movie, "Cars". The one for Asher was based on the movie "Toy Story". Simi grabbed the "Cars" book and began reading it out loud. And he kept reading it. He read the entire book - cover to cover. It's a 1st grade book and Simi, age 4, the one who is in pre-school, read it.

Then he wanted to read it again. And again.

Just the week before, Simi came home with new work from school. On the paper was math: 1+2=3. 2+2=4, etc. Except the kid is four and this is first grade math.

I hope he's not bored by the time he enters kindergarten...

Solid Foods for Leila

Today was Leila's first "solids" meal. Technically, it wasn't quite solid. It was soupy rice cereal mixed with breast milk.

Leila loved it. She grabbed the bowl with one hand, the spoon with her other hand, and lapped it up. She had a look on her face as if to say, "Mummy, you've been holding out on me for TOO long!" I think she was quite ready to start on solids.

T-ball Season

In the summertime, t-ball takes over our Saturday mornings. Personally, I'm not a fan of t-ball. It's hot, even at 9-10 AM when they play, and the kids get bored while standing around waiting for their turn. I get bored, too, waiting and waiting. And t-ball season seems to drag on forever.

But t-ball was really fun this week.

The weather was absolutely perfect. It was in the low to mid-80s and very comfortable. And everyone was in a good mood.

Simi had a wonderful time hitting the ball, running the bases, catching the ball, and throwing it. While Simi was on the field with his team, I was on the side playing catch with Asher. Asher was just loving it. He does a great job throwing the ball. Then I'd lob an easy one into his out-stretched arms and when it fell just right, he beamed his beautiful smile. He was just so incredibly happy. Leila, too, was in a really good mood and played happily in her stroller.

After lunch, the boys went into the backyard to practice their hitting on the t-ball tee. And today, I took Asher to buy his own ball and glove. He was absolutely thrilled. He beamed with pride.

Seeing their happiness makes it all worth it.

Bad Guys Go to Venus

Simi is learning about the solar system in his pre-school class. He's absolutely loving this module more than any other module so far. Every evening he trips over his tongue in an effort to tell us everything he learned that day about the solar system. "Mommy, did you know that the sun is a hot star?", he says. Then he goes on and on and on about the sun and everything he learned about it.

Today was no different. In the car on the way home, Simi jabbered on and on and on about Saturn's moons and Jupiter's moons. Then he talked about Venus. "Mommy", he starts. "We'll put all the bad guys on Venus. Then there won't be any more bad guys; they'll all be on Venus."

"Good idea", I say. "But how will we get them to Venus?"

"Well, that's simple", continues Simi. "We'll just put them in my rocket ship and fly them to Venus. Then, when we get close, we'll open the door of the rocket ship and push them out. Then we'll fly back home."

Problem solved.

Photo of Raj - taken by Asher, age 2

If you look in the sunglasses, you can see Asher taking the picture. Perhaps he has a future in photography?

Click on the photo to enlarge it, else the photo is too small to see the Asher in Raj's sunglasses.

The Mother of All Food Allergies

Right around the time that Raj and Asher were making their way to Cincinnati, I found the following article written by Dr. Putnam, who is Asher's main doctor at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

"The Mother of All Food Allergies", by Dr. Putnam

It's all about me

The goal of this blog is to 1) share my children's development with family who live far away and 2) share what we have learned about their medical challenges in the hopes that it helps others.

But now I want to talk about me.

Asher's EE really scares me. I read what the experts write about it. I talk to other mothers of children with EE. I talk to Asher's doctors. The future for Asher scares me. I worry about his ability to eat food by mouth. I worry about the need for a g-tube or ng-tube. I worry about how it will affect his development - both mental and physical. I worry about his longevity - that his EE may shorten his life.

OK, I'm terrified about that last item. Will I lose my baby due to some disease that I don't understand? We always say that Asher is "freakishly strong and frighteningly smart". He is wise well beyond his two years. Is he a prophetic angel brought to us from some external being? Is there a special goal for him? Mainly, will his life be taken from us way before we're ready? That last fear sends me into a wild spin. It makes me want to hold him tight and not let him go. I want to try to protect him...except I can't. I fear this is beyond me. And that terrifies me.

The Results Are In

The results of Asher's endoscopy, colonoscopy, and allergy tests are in.

First, the bad news: the endoscopy revealed that he still has eosinophilic esophagitis and also eosinophils in his small intestine.

Next, the good news: there are no eosinophils in his colon. So, it could be worse.

This means that even with the three (yes, 3!) medicines he is taking as well as the extremely restricted diet, he is still suffering with EE.

Next we discussed a plan of action with Dr. Putnam. First, we agreed to stop giving him Flovent, because it simply masks the symptoms. Then, for the next three months, we agreed to restrict Asher's diet with everything we have already eliminated, plus eliminate all the foods to which he tested positive during the allergy testing. After three months, he will get another endoscopy to see if the eosinophils have gone away. If they have not gone away, then it means we have to put him on a liquid elemental diet. But we'll cross that bridge only if necessary.

The final allergy results also include corn. I look at the damage that corn created on poor Asher's back and it scares me to think that this kind of damage is occurring inside my son's esophagus. The skin that the corn touched is all blistered and raw - about 1.5 inches in diameter. Like poison, the corn burned poor Asher.

Immediately after the final results of the allergy test, Raj and Asher began their long drive home. Simi and I made a bet on when they would arrive. Simi bet they would return home on Friday and said that if he won, he wanted a matchbox car. I said they would return home on Saturday and if I won, I wanted a big hug and kiss from my boy.

When did they return home? Exactly midnight.

Aquarium Day

Wednesday was a day off from testing. In fact, all the tests are finished and now we're just awaiting the results.

With an entire day off, Raj and Asher headed to the aquarium. Asher has a love/hate relationships with aquariums. This is the third one he's been to (Boston and Pine Knoll Shores, NC are the other two) and he's both scared of them and awe-struck by them. He's particularly nervous about divers in the tanks, but yet he continually talks about them and is mesmerized by them. He'll probably be a marine biologist when he grows up.

After the aquarium, Raj took him back to the hotel (the Extended Stay hotel) for a nap, only to have hours upon hours of fire drills. Poor Asher couldn't nap yet he was exhausted from the long testing days. Grrrr. So Raj took him to the Dollar Store and let Asher have his pick of whatever he wanted. It must have felt like Christmas to Asher - all those toys!

This morning is our meeting with the main doctor, Dr. Putnam. We will get the results of the endoscopy and colonoscopy, talk about the preliminary results of the allergy testing, and make a plan of action. I can't wait.

Allergy Testing Day

Today was allergy testing day. They tested for 35 foods. They did the skin prick tests on Asher's arms and the patch tests on his back.

The skin prick test results show allergy to:

Turkey
Egg yolk
Wheat
Barley
Mold II
Cat

The turkey was the big surprise. Between his lunch and dinner, he eats turkey at least 3 times a week. No wonder he still struggles with his eating.

We don't really feed him barley, so we don't have any experience with it. Egg yolk and wheat are no surprise at all to us; neither is cat. I'm not really sure what mold II is; we'll have to talk with the Dr. about that one.

I'm glad he didn't test positive for rice or potatoes. He eats a lot of those.

Now, I'd bet the house that it's dairy that makes him vomit. And he's shown a reaction to corn in the past; where is that one on the list? And the formula he was on when first diagnosed was soy/corn - I don't see those anywhere. What's up with that? Lots of questions linger...

The patch tests stay on Asher's back for two days. We get the results of them on Friday.

We have officially stopped torturing Asher with all these tests. Tomorrow is a day off. Thursday we meet with Dr. Putnam to get the results of the endoscopy/colonoscopy and get a plan of action. Friday morning is the results of the patch testing, then they get to come home! I can't wait; I miss them both so much!

Endoscopy/Colonoscopy Day

Today was the endoscopy and colonoscopy. To prepare for them, Asher had to stop eating Sunday morning. That's right - no food at all for nearly two days! He was allowed clear fluids on Sunday, then nothing at all from 9:30 AM Monday until 2:30 PM when the endoscopy and colonoscopy was scheduled.

To make matters worse, Asher needed to drink 3 separate doses of bad-tasting medicine, then have four enemas to clean out his system.

Asher did great. He didn't complain at all about not eating or even not drinking. He didn't complain at all about the enemas. He just went with it.

Now for the good news: Dr. says that everything looked good. He does so many of these that he can usually tell by sight if there is eosinophils in the esophagus, intestine, etc. Of course the biopsy results are the definitive answer, but it's reassuring to know that things are looking so good.

Asher was so mature that all the nurses said he behaved like a 5 year-old. That's my boy.

And now the worst is over. It gets easier after today.

Tomorrow is allergy testing. I'll try to update again tomorrow night.

Asher's Big Adventure

I've written before about Asher's food allergies. A year ago, he was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis, which is a fancy word for food allergy.

Traditionally, when you think about an allergic reaction, you think about, perhaps, watery eyes or sneezing or itching. Those are reactions that occur on the outside of your body. Asher's allergic reactions happen inside his body: his esophagus, and perhaps his intestines and bowel. The reactions do not occur immediately - we find out about them about two weeks after he's eaten a food when he vomits or stops eating. It makes diagnosing very difficult. We have some ideas, but we don't know exactly to what he's allergic.

Eosinophilic esophagitis is a relatively newly discovered disease - about 10 years old. Prior to 10 years ago, they simply thought that it was reflux that didn't respond to medicine. There is a lot that the medical profession still doesn't know about it. And there are only three centers for pediatric eosinophilc disease in the country. We've been seeking medical help nearby, but we need more. So we're taking Asher to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for further medical help.

For the past seven or eight weeks, I had been trying to make an appointment at Cincinnati Children's. I was just about to give up and make an appointment at one of the other two EE centers when I received a call late Monday afternoon. There was a cancellation next week; can we make it? A resounding YES was the reply and we've been scrambling to collect medical records, biopsy slides, arrange travel and hotel and prepare for the trip.

We decided that Raj and Asher were going to make this journey alone. Logically, it makes sense. With all kids in tow, it becomes a zoo and then we can't concentrate on Asher. We wouldn't be able to ask the questions we need of the doctors or help Asher with his medical procedures. Best for Raj to take Asher alone.

So now Raj and Asher are making their way to Cincinnati. Asher has appointments all week long there. On Monday, he'll have an endoscopy and colonoscopy - to examine the extent of the damage. (We had just assumed that the allergy is strictly in his esophagus, but as we answered the nurses questions, it seems like his allergy might also be in his intestine and bowel.) Tuesday is the allergy testing. Wednesday they have a day off, then Thursday they get the allergy tests read and get a plan of action from the doctor. Friday, is the result of the patch (allergy) tests. Then they'll make their way home on Saturday again. Phew!

For those who suffer from this disease, I'll chronicle Asher's journey here. I hope it helps you.

Leila at Four Months

Leila just had her 4 month check-up. She weighed in at 17 lbs, 4 oz. That's in the 97th percentile for weight. What a fatty!

In comparison, Simi was 17 pounds at his 9 month check-up.

I'd tell you her length, but she measured shorter at four months than she was at 2 months. Since there is an obvious mis-measurement, we'll just wait and see how long she is at 6 months.

Leila's doing great in every way. She's right on target developmentally. She's such a happy girl, so easy going, yet undeniably fights for what she needs. That's my girl.

Bad Parenting

Usually, I try to write about the good side of my children. They really and truly are good kids, although sometimes, like all children, they have their moments. Lately, however, they've been the biggest brats on the planet.

Since Leila's arrival, Simi and Asher have been spending all their time together. Seems like they're spending WAY too much time together and are starting to feed off each other's badness/get competitive with each other/get on each other's nerves/fill in the blank here.

The other night, during a celebration dinner for their Aunt, Simi and Asher turned into THE BIGGEST BRATS. They've never behaved so poorly in their lives - and they did it in front of a big audience. After the usual parenting techniques failed, I resorted to dysfunctional behavior - I screamed at them to stop. And at one point, to get Simi's attention when all else failed, I picked him up, put him on the couch, and YELLED at him to stop. I'm not proud of my behavior and the whole scene really shook me up. It shook up Simi too. He started to cry and the look on his face was just horrific. Yet it didn't stop his bad behavior. I hated the way Simi and Asher behaved and I hated the way I behaved. In a word, it was horrific.

The next day we went to a friend's 5th birthday party. While there, the mother of a little girl was screaming at her daughter. I recognized that behavior in my own actions from just the night before. So THAT'S how horrible it looks. From the outside, the screaming was as bad as it felt from the inside. I hope to never ever do that again.

Stay tuned while we figure out how best to conquer these new challenges....

Toddler Humor

Jokes by Asher (age 2):

Have you ever seen a fish go fishing?

Have you ever seen a train go training?

Toddler Soccer

Finally, Asher is playing soccer. He has been begging to go for quite awhile; ever since he realized that Simi plays and he doesn't.

Today was his second soccer session. At this age, they don't have games or even divide into teams. Instead, everyone has their own ball and they play activities designed to strengthen muscles and teach basic skills.

Toddler soccer is adorable. It's a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds who are running around clueless. Normally, some are crying, some are banging themselves into walls, and some have the potential to be the next Pele.

Considering that Asher has only kicked the ball once before, he did great. When practice first began, he ran out onto the field without me and I felt this tinge of emotion, watching my baby acting like a big boy. Emotion got me even more as he dribbled downfield and upfield and followed the coach's directions. And then, as much emotion as I felt, perhaps he felt it too. He ran up to me, took my hand, and led me to the field to continue. Together, we had a wonderful time jumping in and out of hoola hoops and weaving in and out of cones. And just about the time when he was ready to leave, the session ended and it was time to go. Perfect timing. I can't wait to do it again next week.

Next time I'll bring my camera.

Back from the Beach

My apologies for the lack of entries lately. We just returned from a week at the beach.

The beach vacation was a lot of fun. We went to Emerald Isle this year. Truthfully, while we like to go to a different beach every year, we always seem to return to Emerald Isle. So far, we prefer that beach to all the others. Well, Ocracoke probably is a clear winner if we went without the children.

We asked Simi and Asher to list their favorite bits of vacation. Number one for both of them was the aquarium. It just re-opened and it's absolutely awesome. In fact, the boys loved it so much that we went twice. One of the exhibits of the aquarium is a very large tank filled with fish and sharks. At a specific time of day, a pair of scuba divers swim into the tank and talk to the children, who assemble in front of the tank to watch the divers. For Asher, the divers was, hands-down, his favorite part of the vacation. He was both terrified and awed by them. And he hasn't yet stopped talking about them.

For Simi, the next best part of the trip was making a shape from a penny. I'm sure you've all seen the machines where you plop in two quarters and a penny and the penny comes out all flattened with some sort of print on it. For Simi, that flattened penny was one of the highlights of the trip.

Leila looked absolutely stunning in her bikini and sun hat. The beach didn't excite her, nor did the divers in the big tank. Her favorite thing was having her brother Simi make silly faces at her all week long.

Asher gets goofier by the day. I think anything would have been fun for him, as long as he had all of us with him. He's such a goofball.

For me, the best part was spending time with my wonderful husband and sweet children. The second best part was viewing all the phenomenal photos Raj took. Perhaps we'll be able to share a couple of them with you here - soon.

Sweet Dreams

If I could, I think I'd be one of those moms who sleeps in bed with their children all night long.

Truth is, we have a house rule: everyone sleeps in their own bed. Except for the Leila, because her bed is our bed. And now, it seems, except for Asher, who quietly sneaks into our bedroom in the wee hours and quietly climbs into bed next to me. And then when I find him, I'm just so tired and it's so nice to cuddle with him and smell his sweet smell...I just can't resist. And then along comes Simi, who finds out that Asher's no longer in his bed and runs in to join in. And then we all have to get up and go back to our own beds again....

Brag

I try not to brag about my children, but sometimes I just can't resist:

This brag is about Asher, age 2. Without any help at all, he's managed to figure out how to play with his brother's Leapster (ages 4-10) and play all the games in it. Since my 4 year-old needed instructions, it's quite the accomplishment that a 2 year-old could figure it out on his own.

While we're on the subject of brags, please allow me to continue. This one's about Simi, age 4. We pulled into the gas station to fuel up and he says, "Mommy, I know what that sign says: Stop Engine, No Smoking".

And since I'm on a roll, let me tell you about the Leila, who does a really great job pooping and having it escape her nappy and go up all the way to her armpits. Now THAT's talent!

Phew, I'm glad I got that out. Thank you for allowing me to brag...

The Leila

Leila is 3 months old now. With each day, we begin to see more and more of her personality.

When I was pregnant with Leila, we had gone through Asher's EE diagnosis and Simi's open heart surgery. I had also gone through an extraordinariy stressful time at work. It was stressful all around. I worried that my stress would affect her "forma de ser", her way of being.

Leila is the most easy-going, happiest baby on the planet. She is seemingly unaffected by stress while in utero. Phew!

What's Up With This?

In the past few days, I've found about 10 gray hairs on my head. Now, what's up that all of a sudden my hair is turning gray?

Harumpf!

You Know You're a Veteran Mom When...

You have two children vomit on you and one poop on you ...and it's no big deal.

Leila and The Boys

I felt sorry for Leila even before she was born.

Leila is the third child - with two brothers just two and four years older than she. My concern is that we'd have to protect her from their accidental "mishandling" of their baby sister.

Turns out that she loves it. She loves it when Simi gets right up in her face and talks nonsense to her. She loves it when he waves his body all around - within milimeters of her face. She smiles and laughs and can barely contain herself.

Simi and Leila in the car: Simi gets all silly and Leila just laughs and laughs and laughs.

What does this mean for when she's older?

Allergic Asher

A year ago, I posted that Asher was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis. That's a fancy word to say that he has a food allergy.

When he was first diagnosed, the Dr. gave him a prescription for Flovent and sent us on our merry way....

The Flovent has worked great. Asher stopped vomiting and started eating solids almost immediately. We're truly thankful for that. And we haven't had to worry about his allergies while we worked to fix Simi's heart or prepared for Leila's arrival. That was nice.

But during this past year, Asher has gradually began to struggle with eating again. So much so, that we started investigating how to deal with his food allergies.

Our most recent stop was to see the head of the department of pediatric allergy at Duke. Since he has food allergies, we thought it best to get the advise of a pediatric allergist. We couldn't have been more wrong. This doctor, after keeping us waiting for three hours, told us not to restrict his diet/avoid any food which may trigger his allergy. Instead, he said, just keep taking the Flovent and not worry about it. Truthfully, he made me feel like a terrible mum for restricting my child's diet.

When I asked about skin testing to determine the offending foods, the doctor said it wouldn't be helpful. He did agree to do blood tests, though. The blood tests revealed a mild allergy to wheat. Doctor told us not to restrict wheat from Asher's diet.

We followed his advice. Asher was thrilled. He started eating yogurt and things with wheat and things with soy. And within two weeks, he started vomiting. Then, he stopped eating completely.

After doing a bit of investigating, I learned that this doctor gave lousy advise.

We also visited our pediatric gastroenterologist, who told us that kids with EE don't usually grow out of it, and that he'll probably need to take the steroids forever. Hmmnn..

So...off we go in a quest to find more help. I'll chronicle our adventure, in the hopes that it may help someone else. Right now we're awaiting an appointment at the Eosinophilc Center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Yes, indeed, there really is a place like this. We're told that our appointment will probably be in August or September. They only take 3 new families a week and that's when the next appointment will be available.

In the meantime, we've gone back to restricting Asher's diet and he's back to eating again. Phew!

Mothers do know best. We may not have the medical degree, but we know our children.

Hungry Girl

When Simi was first born, he and I would lay in bed together and alternate between sleep and eat (he would do the eating). He'd sleep so gently and peacefully, then start smacking his lips together (like Winnie-the-Pooh. I could just imagine the sweet thought in his brain saying something like, "oh, I'd like a little smackeral of something.") and then turn to me with mouth open, just like a little bird opening his mouth wide open to get a worm from momma bird. And then we'd lay together with him nursing until he was done and fell asleep again. And I'd wish we could lay there - just like that - forever.

Same with newborn Asher. When hungry, he'd open his little bird mouth and bump around looking for his booby. And he'd find it, nurse until satiated, then fall back to sleep again.

Not Leila. Leila has never given me a little bird mouth. Nope. Instead, she rams her entire body into me to wake me up and feed her. And she just keeps ramming until I wake up and shove the breast into her mouth. Sometimes, she doesn't even wait to find the nipple, just starts sucking on a random part (ouch!), until I get the right part in the right place. And then she sleeps soundly, sweetly, again, until it's time to become a battering ram again.

My sweet, delicate little flower...

Easter Week-end

I'd like to tell you about our very special Easter week-end. The boys woke up on Saturday to find an Easter egg hunt awaiting them in the living room. They quickly got dressed and came downstairs and scooped up all the eggs.

Now, you may be wondering why a Jewish/Hindu family would ever even think of celebrating Easter.... Truthfully, I fail to see a connection between the Easter bunny and Jesus. It's really just a fun way to do something special (color eggs, hunt eggs, eat chocolate) and fun. No religion is really involved.

We did tell them the story of Passover, though.

Now, back to our week-end...

Saturday morning, while at breakfast, we were talking about what to do that day. I mentioned that I'd like to go to the zoo, but it's a good two hour drive each way. So we decided to go to the Museum of Life and Science, which is about five minutes from our house. They have a great playground, which we never have a chance to go to because the boys are always busy doing something else there.

When we showed our membership card at the front desk, one of the museum staff told us to be sure to check out the new exhibit - which just opened up that day. Off we go to the playground...which is completely empty. The boys had a blast running up and down the structures.

At the playground is a caboose. Yes, a real train caboose. Raj fondly talks about the days when his parents took him and his sisters to the museum and they played on the caboose. I think it was one of his favorite things at the museum. And now here he is, taking his children to the museum and they're playing on the same structure that he enjoyed as a kid....

And then we decided to go check out the new exhibit...

Dang, this thing isn't just an exhibit, it's like a whole new entity! We walk onto a boardwalk structure to the most beautiful overview of a lake/marsh. The view is breath-taking. In the exhibit are bears, wolves, and lemurs. The enclosures for the animals seem fun and comfortable for the animals and the boys enjoyed watching the bears frolic in the water and jump on the trees. More than anything, they really enjoyed the deck full of interactive activities. They threw sand in the stream bed, swam like tadpoles and like ducks, and watched the Canada Geese sit on his nest. In fact, we couldn't get them away from this deck; they had way too much fun.

It was so much fun, we went back on Sunday for a second visit. And the boys are still asking when they can go back again.

I suspect we'll be there a lot this summer.

Oh, and that Easter basket? Both boys have quickly forgotten about it - and it's still full of candy.

Simi's Drawing

As Raj and I were preparing dinner, Simi was at the easel drawing and Asher was playing with a Rescue Hero toy. Leila was in her bouncy seat, taking in the scene. Simi called me over to ask me how to spell his last name. He wrote his first name on the drawing and wanted to make the name complete. Raj and I looked at the drawing. Simi had drawn a picture of two boobies, complete with the area "where milk comes out" (Simi's words). He had drawn it so well, that it was easy to see what he had drawn. Simi had obviously seen me nurse Leila a few times.

After laughing so hard that tears ran down my face, I was finally able to compose myself enough to help him spell his last name.

Tobor

We now have another new addition to our family: Tobor. Tobor is a robot created from our set of Tinker Toys.

The boys regularly play with the tinker toys and Simi loves to build robots. He loves robots that fly and robots that kill bad guys and robots that crash. OK, really, he just loves to build robots. And after we build them, we take them apart and put them back into the tinker toy container.

Except for Tobor. He's our only creation who has remained "outside the canister". In fact, he now has a personality, a background, and a history. He comes from the continent and/or country that Simi learned about that day, and takes all different types of transportation, based on what Simi is learning.

Welcome, Tobor, to the family.

Fun Toys

The weather cooperated so perfectly this week-end. Both Saturday and Sunday were the perfect spring days. We celebrated them by spending as much time outside as possible. We had gotten a play structure last summer, so we spent a lot of time in the backyard, playing on swings, slides, forts, and sand boxes.

But the most popular activity this week-end by both Simi and Asher was filling up the watering can (or small container) and watering whatever they could find. They entertained themselves for hours with the water.

Glad we got that play structure.

First Shopping Excursion

Looking back on my own childhood, I remember fondly the shopping trips my mum and I used to have. We would drive to the mall on a Friday night, look around at the clothes and accessories, perhaps buy an item or two, have some nice conversations, and drive home.

Hopefully these fond memories are beginning with my own daughter. Leila accompanied me to the mall to shop for "back to work" clothes. I think she loved it.

Laden down with large quantities of clothes to try on, Leila and I strolled into the dressing room. She smiled and laughed as I tried on each outfit. Then, as we left, she began to cry. Is this an indication of a future shopping companion?

Oak Trees

The day before we left Boston, MA after getting Simi's heart fixed, the boys picked up acorns in the park across the street from our apartment. According to Simi, it was one of his favorite activities of the trip. He loved it so much that he continued to pick up acorns once we returned home.

One of our friends suggested we plant the acorns as a remembrance of the trip/experience. We loved the idea and Raj searched the Internet to find instructions on how to get them to grow.

The Simi and Asher helped us plant the acorns in soil, and we waited...

We now have more than five little oak trees growing in our window box. Lovely reminders of this time of rebirth.

Snips and Snails and Puppy-dog Tails

True to the stereotype, the boys love their rocks and slithery things. The other day, on a trip to the dollar store to redeem their activity chart rewards, both boys chose rubber snakes for their prize. These seemingly real things now curl around dinner chairs and the foot of the bed and are definitely not for the squeamish among us.

Not to mention the big ol' frog and the fish who live in tanks in the boys' bedroom.

Quite frequently, Simi picks up rocks from school and brings them home to me. He holds them up to me as if they were the most precious diamonds in the universe. To me, those rocks certainly are the most precious stones imaginable.

It'll be interesting to see if Leila shares the boys' interests in things that slither when she's a bit older.

Dragon Feet

While preparing for our Indian wedding ceremony, the wonderful women that helped me get ready put on one final touch: a small black mark around the back of my jaw. It was to signify that the bride was perfect with the exception of this one small imperfection.

That small imperfection is like Simi's toes. He has the ugliest toes. The problem is mainly in the nails, which are curved and wavy. We tease him and call them his "dragon feet". He is absolutely perfect, with the exception of this one small (and minor) imperfection.

Lovely Leila

Leila had her two-month doctor appointment the other day. After the traditional weigh and measure, we learned of her new growth percentiles. She is still in the 50th percentile for height but has now moved into the 95th percentile for weight. She's a fatty! Our little Leila is a fat girl! After having two skinny boys, the pediatrician and I couldn't help but share a laugh at the chubby little legs and the round Buddha belly on the Leila. She must get that from the RUBEN side of the family.

On Being Two

Asher is, indeed, two years old. When he is with Simi, he seems so much older. His communication and gross and fine motor skills are at about a three year-old level, so it's easy to think of him as being older than his chronological age. But when you get to spend time with him one-on-one, you get to see that, emotionally, he really is two.

Asher stayed home with Leila and me for the past two days. It was a wonderfully scrumptious two days. He's such a sweet boy and such a happy kid that it's fun to be around him. Luckily, the weather was also absolutely beautiful, so we spent some time outside. I wish I could have more days like these past two.

Two Year Old Asher

Asher has always tried to keep up with his big brother. He wants to do everything Simi does. He watched Simi use the potty and then potty-trained himself well before his 2nd birthday. He takes Simi's clothes and puts them on himself.

So it comes as a surprise when Asher does something, well, age appropriate. He seems so much older than his two years, that when he does something a two year-old would do, it takes me by surprise.

Yesterday was one of those days. Asher has been having bouts of "the twos", otherwise known as the "terrible twos" or "terrific twos". Totally normal behaviour - for a two-year old. It's a reminder that my sweet baby is, still indeed, a baby.

Simi's Menagerie

When Simi was just born, his aunt and uncle gave him two small, soft stuffed animals. One was a frog and the other a little brown puppy-dog. We put them in Simi's crib with him (another practice that's frowned upon these days).

As months went by, Simi-the-infant began to grab for one of the animals. It was always the same one: the puppy-dog. At first we thought it was just chance that he'd grab for the dog; perhaps that was the closest one to him or perhaps that was the one we'd give him. But if we gave him the frog, he'd drop it and reach for the puppy.

Four years later, "Puppy" is a member of our family. In fact, last year we put a "pet id tag" on the dog after we nearly lost it twice while traveling. Puppy was with Simi in the operating room during his open heart surgery. Sometimes Puppy even talks; his voice sounds remarkably like Simi's.

Simi's menagerie continually grows. Puppy is joined by "Dottie", a Dalmatian "beanie-baby" dog. He's also joined by "Blackie", a small stuffed Dalmatian dog. Most recently Puppy is joined by "Baby Sister", the baby doll we gave the boys before Leila was born. Sometimes he sleeps with all or some of his menagerie; sometimes all or some accompany Simi to where-ever he is going.

Interestingly, the stuffed frog sits on a shelf with some other stuffed animals. And Simi absolutely LOVES frogs.

Of course, Puppy is the consistent one in Simi's arms.

Leila's Birth Announcement

Hot off the presses: here is Leila's birth announcement!

It's a Love Affair

Leila is five weeks old now and beginning to wake up from her newborn slumber. She's so sweet and cuddly and, well, "huggly". I think I can spend all day cradling her in my arms and smelling her sweet newborn scent.

She knows who I am. When she's awake, she looks at me with tender eyes. And now, when I look at her with that silly grin on my face, she smiles back with an incredibly sweet, gummy smile. I'm head over heals in love.

One month old

Leila celebrated her one month birthday yesterday. Simi said we need to celebrate her birthday. He suggested going to "one of the special birthday party places", because "they're a lot more fun than having a party at home."

At Leila's one month check-up today, she weighed 10 lbs. 12 oz. That's exactly a three pound weight gain in one month. Good eating Leila!

Oh, and she's still the perfect baby.

Speaking of Heat Defects...

The Winter Olympics are now upon us and we get to watch the Olympic athletes doing their thing in Italy in search of the ultimate SMO (shiny medal object). It surprised me to learn that Shaun White, the red-headed American who won the gold medal in snowboarding, had two heart surgeries before he was a year old to repair a congenital heart defect.

Looks like his heart is fixed.

Way to go Shaun! Congratulations on your achievements.

Hindsight

It's been over four months now since Simi's open heart surgery. He's fine now. We've moved on, happy to be on this side of the surgery.

And not a day goes by when I don't think about the surgery in hindsight. We did the right thing. We went to the right hospital; got the right doctor. Simi had the best repair; the best possible recovery. And he's now better than new. We can breathe a sigh of relief. And we can move on.

And every day I give thanks for that outcome.

Adjusting

Every time we try to anticipate our child's/children's reactions to something, they always surprise us. They just never seem to react in the way we guess they will. Adjusting to Leila's arrival is no exception. Both Raj and I expected Asher to have some serious issues by seeing Leila in his mum's arms and we expected Simi to have no issues at all. Instead, Asher took in the newcomer with open arms and Simi is the one with the adjustment issues.

Yes, it's true: Simi, our sweet, good-natured, easy-going, loving boy has started acting out. He has started to be aggressive to Asher and has been whiny and defiant to us.

Admittedly, Simi's behavior, combined with my sleep-deprived state, has brought out some unsavory parenting skills in me. I'm short-tempered (even worse than normal for me!) and it just makes everyone miserable. I need a change in parenting style to help Simi (and all of us!) adjust better.

The Middle Child

Asher is now the middle child. Just three short weeks ago, he was the baby of the family. Now, he's in the middle. The 'forgotten' one.

It's easy to see how a person is affected by where they are in their familial birth order. Poor Asher, who once received a ton of attention, is now sandwiched between Simi, who makes absolutely certain he gets as much attention as possible, and Leila, who gets all the attention she needs. Asher just tags along after Simi, following in his wake like a little tugboat in the wake of a giant cruise ship.

Truthfully, Asher doesn't seem to mind - at least not right now. Asher idolizes his big brother and happily tags along after Simi. And hopefully Asher will start getting more of his own attention in the near future.

Lounging Leila

For the first month after Simi was born, his adorable little body stayed in the same position he was in while in utero: his arms were bunched up near his face and his legs were drawn up to his belly. Asher, too, was the exact same way. Little by little they uncurled their limbs and stretched out.

Leila, on the other hand, loves the lounging position. Yes, her adorable hands are crunched up to her face, but her legs are stretched out like she's laying on a chaise lounge by poolside. She was born lounging.

Two Week Mark

Leila had her two week doctor visit the other day. She gained exactly a pound in nine days. That's a lot.

I mentioned to the doctor that Leila is the perfect baby. Leila responded by keeping me awake from 11 PM to 4:30 AM that night. What a little teaser! That'll learn me for making such statements...

How Quickly Things Change

Finally, with baby #3, I learn how to swaddle a baby. As soon as I learned, I read that we shouldn't swaddle babies anymore because they could overheat, be trapped in their blanket, and die. Now I'm glad I never learned how to swaddle a baby before.

It's amazing how quickly things change. Like the swaddling thing, tips and techniques on how to best raise a child changes so quickly. Just four years ago, when Simi was brand-new, the "experts" said that you should sleep with your baby and use a humidifier in the winter to help with the dry air. Now you should never sleep with your baby - for fear of suffocation. And that humidifier? It could be gathering bacteria and spitting it out into the air -- and that's bad. Now, instead of a $35.00 humidifier, you need to buy a $100+ ultrasonic humidifier that purifies the air before spitting it into the room.

If expert advice changes this fast, I can only imagine how the grand-parents of this generation feels with all the changes.

Leila Update

Goodness! So much has happened this past week; where do we begin?

So far, Leila's been the most laid-back baby. We're still in that newborn honeymoon phase, where she's primarily sleeping, eating, and pooping/peeing -- and that's it. But she's doing all those things so incredibly sweetly. We're all head over heals in love with her.

The boys have welcomed her with open arms. Even Asher, who always has to be with his mama, hasn't even shown any signs of jealousy at all. To Asher, Leila's just another family member to love and hug and hold.

We'll post new photos as soon as we have a spare moment...

Pictures of newborn Leila

I didn't get any really good shots, but here's a couple to get started.

Leila arrives!

Born Jan 21, 2006 at 10:36pm by C-Section
7lb 12oz
19.7in

Baby and mom are doing well.

Liz's water broke a little before 8pm. Leila was transverse so we went staight to C, and all went well. We're still waiting for Leila to get her shots and cleaned up and arrive in this room so Liz can finally hold her, soon...

-raj

Impatiently Awaiting Baby

Baby Sister hasn't even been born yet and she's already giving us trouble...

My body this week has been so incredibly painful, that I decided to have it checked out before my regularly scheduled appointment. It's a chronic pain and I just can't get away from it. And the thought of induction day being so far away made me cry.

Anyway, I'm really glad I did. I learned that 1. Her heartbeat is absolutely beautiful and 2. She really likes laying sideways in her womb. In the 10 minutes the sonographer spent looking at her, her head moved from my right hip to my right rib. She's nowhere near where she should be, which is why labor is not progressing at all. And that's why it's so incredibly painful. Having a full-term baby laying sideways inside you -- and stretching out - is quite uncomfortable.

The doctor, midwife, nurse, and sonographer conferenced around the ultrasound machine to try to figure out what to do about the situation.

I'm still considering my options to determine what's best for me and #3.

On the bright side, the sonographer treated me to a 3D picture of #3. On the screen, you could really tell what she looked like. Good golly, it was almost like seeing her outside the womb; it was that clear.

If this is her personality, Raj and I have a lifetime of thrills and spills with this one. It reminds me of "a mother's curse", where the mother says to her child during a particularly exasperating moment, "when you grow up, I hope you have a child JUST LIKE YOU."

I can hear my mum - up in heaven or where-ever she is - chuckling now.

So, it looks like January 22nd or 23rd will be Baby Sister's birthday. Three or four more sleeps - that's STILL a VERY LONG way off!

Leila's first picture

Liz got a nice 3-d ultrasound picture yesterday, cool!

Still Waiting

Today is officially baby sister's due date and she's still safely ensconced in her womb with absolutely no desire to leave it. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; she has been served her eviction notice. If she doesn't make her appearance on her own, then she will be evicted on Sunday, January 22nd. It seems a LONG way away...

Three Month Mark

On January 6th, we celebrated Simi's 3 month anniversary of his open heart surgery. This day is significant in that his bones should be completely healed and he has no more restrictions on his activity. He can now climb the monkey bars or collide with school-mates on the playground without fear of injuring his breastbone.

Other than that, it was a normal day.

Simi has gained a total of 5 lbs. in the 3 months since his surgery. That's an increase of 20% over his original body weight. He looks great! If you look at him, you'd still say he's quite thin, but he's a "healthy" thin rather than a "concentration-camp victim" thin.

The Waiting Game

The title says it all: Baby Sister is still safely ensconsed in her womb. Truthfully, her due date isn't until next week, so it's still early. I guess I shouldn't have been so certain that she'd be born early. Or perhaps I should have taken that scheduled c-section on December 27th when I had the chance. Argh, the waiting game...I think this is the worst part.

The question that remains on the top of my list is: will I get more -- or less -- sleep once Baby Sister is born?

Anyway, no news about #3's arrival and the boys, surprisingly enough, haven't done anything especially cute in the past few days to post about.

Hugs

The other day, Simi and Asher were bickering over a toy. Just before one of us parents could intervene, however, Asher turns to Simi and says, "Let's hug each other." Toy was dropped and hugs ensued. Parents' hearts just melted away.

Since then, they hug each other all the time. And then they fall down together in a big heap and laugh and tumble around. Then they get up and do it again.

What Does the "D" Say?

As you know, Asher is addicted to the television. We're now actively limiting his TV-watching and changing his program/DVD watching to educational programs.

So now, when he watches TV, one of the main things he watches is the Leap Frog "Talking Letters Factory" DVD. In this DVD, cartoon characters walk a family of children through a letter factory. There are 26 individual rooms in the factory and in each room is a letter. They show the letter and say its sound. From a parent's perspective, it's quite well-done and entertaining. And maybe it'll help him learn his letters.

Asher was engrossed in the DVD this evening while Simi and Raj were eating their ice-cream dessert. Raj decided to quiz Asher on the letters.

"What does the 'E' say, Asher?", asks Raj.
"Eh" comes the correct response from our engrossed 2 year-old.

"What does the 'D' say, Asher?", Raj asks another question.
"Daddy-o!", replies Asher.


Now where did THAT come from?

Understanding Simi/Being Four

When Simi was in the hospital for his open heart surgery, after the surgery, every small procedure was a really big deal. For example, each time the nurse took out a line, I rejoiced because it meant that he was improving and was one step closer to going home.

Simi didn't see it the same way I did. To him, getting a line out meant pain. It was a BIG DEAL. He fought and cried and did everything he could to prevent the nurse from removing lines, band-aids, etc.

On the day he was released from the hospital, the nurse removed the last IV line from the back of his hand. I explained to Simi what the nurse was about to do and he cried in sheer terror. He told me that he didn't want them to remove the line and preferred that it stay in forever.

When I (Liz) was in the hospital yesterday for the version, the first thing the nurses did was take blood and insert an IV line. I'm terrified of needles, so this is a big deal to me. When the version was cancelled, my first thought was that I had a needle for no reason at all. That's a BIG DEAL.

When it came time for me to leave, the nurse moved to remove the IV line. I wanted to cry. Instead, I asked her if we could keep it in because sometime soon I'd be back to have the baby, and I'd need it then. Wouldn't it save them time, I reasoned, if the line was already in? I would rather that line stay in forever than have the nurse remove it. Nothing doing; the line came out.

I now know how Simi felt...

Waiting for Baby

Just before my mum passed away (in 1999), I read a book in an attempt to prepare myself for the inevitable. In the book, the authors talked about how people died in the same way they lived - according to their personalities. Each chapter was a story about a different person and their end of life experience. And true to form, my mum passed away in a manner very appropriate to her personality.

I have a theory: I think people are born according to their personalities too.

In utero, Baby Sister has A LOT of personality. I'm very interested in meeting her and getting to know her and learn of the kind of person she is. Her birth is already very different from her two brothers.

A few weeks ago we learned she's transverse. That means that she's laying sideways in utero. By this point, she should be vertex, or head down. She's moving a lot - going from side-to-side - and avoiding that middle at all costs. Each time the doctor does an ultrasound, her head is either on the left or on the right. How does she do that without going to the middle?

We also learned that Baby Sister responds well to verbal threats.

Yesterday, we had an attempt to manually move her to the correct position. About 15 minutes prior to the version, the resident did an ultrasound to check her position: head left, body across, and legs and arms dangling. Doctor comes in to perform the version and checks the position via ultrasound: head center, body up - perfect vertex position. Version cancelled.

What a teaser!

These next few weeks are going to be interesting ones in terms of what Baby Sister will do. And the next 18+ years will be a blast with her in our lives if she continues the same personality she has in utero.

Pressies!

Yesterday was another wonderful Christmas. In the morning, the boys woke up in their matching pajamas -- and we went downstairs to see if Santa had arrived during the night. Sure 'nough, there were presents under the tree!

Last year, Asher (who was 1 at the time) was a bit too young to enjoy presents. This year, the two of them dug into their pressies and had a blast!

Want to know the favorite toy for both of them? The Hess fire truck.

Simi and Asher are a bit luckier than most kids because we celebrate Hannukah too. That means they get pressies for Hannukah too! Lucky kids!

To all our cyber-friends, we hope this holiday season brings you happiness, joy, and love. And we hope all your dreams for 2006 come true.

Happy Holidays!

To all our friends and family who read this blog: we'd like to wish you a very wonderful holiday and a happy and healthy new year.

While I wish that I could put, as a new year's resolution, that I'd do a better job at more individual communication, with baby #3 nearly here I'm sure that resolution would never hold up. So please understand when you don't get those personal phone calls or visits that you once did receive.

Fat Boy

Last year, we worked really hard to get a one pound weight gain on Simi. That's right - after us practically stuffing food in his mouth and feeding him Ben & Jerry's ice cream (which has the highest fat content in ice cream) nearly every night, last year Simi gained a whopping one pound. Although his height was in the 50th percentile for his age, his weight was below the 5th percentile. His weight was one of the reasons we wanted to fix his heart defect sooner rather than later.

With the hole in Simi's heart, his body had to work harder, which burned more calories, which caused him to be skinny.

Now, less than 3 months post surgery, Simi has gained 4 pounds. Can you believe it? He's gained four pounds in less than three months. Without us stuffing him at every meal or force-feeding him ice cream, the kid has gained over 12% of his total body weight in such a short timeframe. In fact, he's gained more in the last two months than he has in the last two years combined!

He now has a little bit of meat on his bones. And when he's sitting down and he bends over, he has a teeny tiny little bit of a belly.

Woo hoo!

The Best Present

It's been very busy around here, as it probably is at your home too, what with getting ready for the holidays and all. And I think we're not playing our "you better be good or you'll get coal" card, because the boys have been SUPER rambunctious lately. Good golly, they are WOUND UP!

Today was a holiday party at Simi's classroom. It was great fun. Simi's teachers surprised each set of parents with a present that they helped the children make. It's a calendar. Each month the picture of the month is some sort of hand-print with a relevant theme for the month. It's one of the best gifts I've ever received and I want to keep it forever. One day, when Simi's all grown up, I'll pull out this old calendar and we'll marvel at how small his hand once was...

But for right now, I'll just marvel at how BIG his handprint is, because it used to be much smaller...

Growing Up

Asher's developments are coming fast and furious lately. Seems like every day he loses a bit more of his "baby-ness" and gains a bit more of "boy-ness".

I love to hear him having conversations with Simi. I love to see him get so excited about things, like Bob-the-Builder legos and pooping in the potty. I love to have conversations with him about the latest movie he saw or what he did at school today.

Yet, at the same time, it seems like he's growing up too fast. I wish I could slow it down a little and savor the bit of "baby time" I have left with him.

Best Friends

As Asher gets more "kid-like" and less "baby-like", he and Simi are getting closer and closer. Right now, I'd say they are "Best Friends". They truly love each other, love playing with each other, and love, well, simply "being" with each other. They're so supportive of each other, cheering each other on through potty training, etc.

As a parent, it's one of the sweetest things on the planet: to hear them having a conversation and watch them playing together.

I hope it lasts their life-time.

Me too!

Simi just resumed soccer class this week. He has soccer class once a week after school. So one parent takes Simi to soccer while the other one picks up Asher and takes him home.

On the way home, Asher continually asked where Simi was. " At soccer practice", came the standard reply. "I want to go to soccer practice too", Asher constantly said.

When we got home, Asher went straight to the plastic golf club and soccer ball and started to hit the soccer ball around with the golf club. "See, I play soccer too", he said.

The Star Chart

To give Simi some encouragement, we got a "star chart". That means that we write down things he should do and when he does them, he gets a star. When he accumulates a total of five stars, he gets to go to the dollar store and pick out a present. Simi's thrilled.

Asher wanted to get in the game too, so we added his name to the star chart even though he's a bit young for it. No matter; he's now eagerly doing whatever it is on his star chart so that he, too, can get stars.

We thought of putting Baby Sister's name on the chart with one activity: being born. But then we thought she's likely to zoom out of her comfortable location in the quest of obtaining a star.

The result is amazing. Both boys are moving right along and getting stars like crazy.

Sure beats nagging.

Update

We haven't updated in awhile; it's been tremendously busy around here lately...

Remember when we were in Boston and the boys shared a bed? Good golly, they slept great. Then they came home and slept in separate rooms and slept terribly. I think they missed each other.

At bed time, each one, individually, would ask to sleep in the other's bed. One night we decided to try it. We moved Asher's bed into Simi's room.

The end result? They're thrilled. They love sleeping in the same room. They love the company. And we all sleep a lot better at night.

Moving Up

Recently, Asher moved to a new room at day care. The new room is for 2-3 year olds. He's now in the "big kids" section of the infant day care. Next year he moves to pre-school, where Simi is.

Asher loves his new room. They have all sorts of cool work, like puzzles and building blocks. They even have stuff that it's ok for him to break, like pulling the kernels off dried corn cobs. He can even use toddler-tweezers to pick up the kernels and put them in a bowl. Then, he can count them. He's in heaven.

The daughter of a friend of ours is also in that room. Asher has met and played with her before, but now that they're spending entire days together, they've really bonded. Asher comes home constantly talking about Brianna. He loves her.

Every night, Asher asks about the teachers in his old room. The other day, I picked him up early so that he can visit his old room. But we got to the door and he refused to go in. Perhaps he thought he'd never be able to go back to his new room. That night, he talked about his old teachers again. What a kid.

The Destroyer

Asher has a very special talent; he destroys everything he gets his hands on. He even manages to destroy things that are seemingly unbreakable. For example, you know those kitchen magnets - the kind you get for free from some company and place them on your refrigerator? He peals the paper off the magnet part.

Today was the first day the Polar Express DVD was released. We bought the gift pack because it had a snow globe and Brio train engine.

Within an hour after purchasing the set, Asher threw the snow globe down the stairs. The plastic globe cracked and the glittery snow and liquid within it came to a rest on the carpeted stairs.

Will he destroy things forever?

A Word of Advice

Normally these posts are about the kids. This post is a bit of advice for the pregnant women reading this blog who need to get dressed up for a fancy affair: find a nice pantsuit.

In other words: avoid the need to wear pantyhose at all costs.

Seriously, why in the world do they even sell maternity hose when they know full well that it's darn near impossible for a woman to actually get it up on her legs when there's a great big belly in the way? And there isn't even a warning label on the packaging, something like: "Warning: attempting to wear this product is hazardous to your health and emotional well-being."

Now, if logic had entered my mind at all before I bought the hose, I would have realized that for someone who hasn't even seen the tips of her toes in months, bending down to get pantyhose rolled up the legs would be an impossible task.

Pantyhose aside, Simi and I (if you hadn't realized by now, this is Liz speaking) had a wonderful time in New York and at Nicole's Bat Mitzvah. Nicole did a great job with the service and she looked like the beautiful princess she is at the reception. Inside and out, this girl is truly beautiful.

Simi had an absolutely wonderful time with Nicole and her friends. He didn't want to leave.

Nicole's Bat Mitzvah

This past weekend Simi and Liz went up to NY for cousin Nicole's Bat Mitzvah. Nicole is, undoubtedly, Simi's favorite person in the world, and he got to spend a lot of time with her and her friends. Simi couldn't get enough of dancing with Nicole and her friends.

Click on each photo for a larger image.

Asher's Throne

We bought a vibrating toddler seat for the boys to sit in once Baby Sister arrives; Simi used to enjoy sitting in the baby bouncy seat when Asher was a baby even though he was too big for it, so we figured this would be better. Asher already loves to turn on the vibrations and plop himself down on his throne to watch TV, and we think it looks pretty funny.

Simi getting dressed up

Here's a picture of Simi trying out some new dressy clothes for his trip up to New York for his cousin Nicole's Bat Mitzvah. I caught him in a nice "cool" pose here that I like a lot :-)

Number 3

With all our energy going into Simi's surgery, in addition to focusing on our full-time jobs, running the household, and raising Asher (not necessarily in that order), we haven't had much time to focus on the arrival of Baby Sister. Someone recently reminded me that her arrival is imminent in about 9 weeks. HOLY CANNOLI, that's soon! She needs a name!

Terrible Twos

It looks like the "terrible twos" have overtaken our sweet, easy-going, happy, young Asher. He routinely has break-downs; he knows he really wants something, but he's not all that certain what that something is. Admittedly, it's really hard not to laugh at him when he gets himself into a fit. Although we try hard not to overtly laugh at him; it's really hard to resist.

For example, back in Boston, early one morning when he was in a sleepy daze, he got into a frenzy, clung to the apartment wall and announced, "my wall!". Both Raj and I were rolling on the floor with laughter at that one. Now, he's begun to wail, "I need (name of parent who is not there)! I need (name of something not readily available)!" Luckily, Asher gets distracted easily and forgets all about what he needs or made him mad.

The "terrible twos" hit Simi around age 12 months and lasted until he was about 3 years old. He would routinely fling himself on the ground right in front of us and pound the floor with his fists. Now THAT routine was difficult not to laugh at. Raj and I would simply step over Simi and pay him absolutely no attention. Simi would get up, fling himself in front of us again and pound his fists. Way too funny!

Words From Our Two-Year Old

Last night, while trying to divert Asher's attention away from Simi's new car to a different car, I asked Asher if he wanted to play with the dump truck. I then proceeded to vroom the truck around in order to entice him.

Asher corrected me. "It's a cement-mixer, Mommy."

He was right, of course.

!

I have a confession: every time I see Simi's scar, I want to cry. I get this lump in my belly and this big rock in my throat and think that it was Raj's and my decision to hack up our child. We marred his beautiful body and gave him a permanent scar - a great big bang ! - on his chest.

When I'm with him, I act non-chalant about it; I don't want him to be self-conscious about it or think there's anything wrong with having it. I do everything I can not to draw attention to it. But it pains me to see my baby all carved up.

I knew I'd feel this way. I thought about it a lot before the surgery. I even had photos taken of him in a bathtub setting (with Asher) so we can have a permanent memory of his perfect chest. And rationally, I know we didn't have a choice - that scarring his beautiful body was the only way we can fix his heart. And fixing his heart was more important that having an unblemished chest. But there it is - right on his chest - the perfect exclamation mark. !

Well, I guess if you're gonna get a scar permanently placed on the middle of your chest, then it should be a good one - like a ! A very appropriate symbol for it's purpose. Yep!

So why does it upset me so much?

Asher Who?

While Simi's gotten a lot happier, Asher's gotten a lot grumpier. Now, in addition to the night antics, he is giving his day care teachers a hard time too. He cries when we drop him off in the morning and is very tired and cranky by lunchtime. Deep sigh. Is he needing more attention? Or has he spent so much time with us that he doesn't want to leave our sides?

Last night, after both boys said they wanted to sleep in each other's bed, we moved Asher's bed into Simi's room. They both loved that idea. Strangely, they both fell asleep quickly and quietly (I feared a night of raucous playing). I hoped that being with Simi would keep Asher in his own bed - but that's not how it turned out. At around midnight, Asher came crying that he wanted to be with us in the big bed. Deep deep sigh.

This, too, shall pass.

Simi's Finally Four!

Because of his surgery, we held Simi's formal birthday party a month early. Since having 20 four year-olds into a gym can be very physical, we chose to have Simi's party before his surgery. And since we left for surgery on October 4th, we had his party on Saturday, October 1st. That's when we started celebrating Simi's birthday.

Then, we had a small party while we were in Boston. Well, the party was actually for Simi's Grandpa Harris, but Grandpa Harris didn't want a party so we had one for Simi instead. Plus, he had just gotten out of the hospital, so it seemed like a good idea...

And, of course, we had a party at Grandma and Grandpa Singh's house to celebrate...

And I can't remember the rest right now, but I think we had a few small parties along the way...
But I do remember thinking, "is this kid ever going to turn four? Good golly, it feels like we've been celebrating for a LONG time and he's STILL not four?

Today, he finally turned four. He had an absolutely wonderful day. The first thing Simi said to me when he woke up this morning is, "Mommy, I'm four years old today!!!!!" He was VERY excited. He dressed up as Spiderman (his choice), and happily paraded around with the other Spidermen in his pre-school parade. Then, we had a small Halloween party at his pre-school (parents invited). Then, they sang "Happy Birthday" to him at lunch time. Then, we had a cake and a small party for him here at the house.

We can now FINALLY stop celebrating Simi's birthday. Phew!

Asher Who?

With all this hub-bub surrounding Simi, it's easy to forget about Asher. Plus, Asher is such an incredibly easy-going kid and isn't the kind of kid who screams for attention.

Until now.

Since we've returned home, Asher has had a very difficult time sleeping. He's always liked to sleep snuggled up next to someone, so sleeping in his own room and his own bed has always been difficult for him. Now it's impossible. After two weeks at home, he's finally falling asleep in his own bed - but only if we're in the room with him. He wakes up in the middle of the night, sees that we're not still sitting in the rocker, and gets up to find us. After nearly two weeks, we've given up on trying to keep him asleep in his own bed and have reluctantly pulled him into bed with us in the middle of the night. Chronic exhaustion will do that to a parent.

Truthfully, the only time Asher has slept really well has been when sleeping with us or sleeping with Simi. So we're thinking of moving his bed into Simi's room and letting him sleep there -- but we don't want to ruin Simi's ability to sleep either. So...no hasty decisions. We'll see how it turns out..

A Weighty Issue

Simi's a small kid for his age. He's about average in height but he's very skinny. During the past year, he's barely gained a pound. We feed him ice cream nearly every night before bed (Ben & Jerry's, which has the highest fat content) in an effort to put some bulk on his scrawny frame. With all that we've pushed into his mouth, Simi has managed to gain a mere one pound this year. This entire year, he has managed to stay at around 29.x pounds. After a full meal, after dinner, bath, soaking wet, he'd MAYBE manage to get to 30 lbs. His lack of weight gain was one of the reasons why we wanted to have his ASD repaired sooner rather than waiting any longer. He is in the 5th percentile for weight and there was a concern that it may soon affect development of vital organs, such as the brain.

See, with his heart defect, his body had to work harder. That means that Simi's body burned more calories than other boys his age.

So now the hole is closed.

He got on the scale last week. Morning weight. Naked. Before breakfast. After potty time. 31.2 pounds. HUH? This kid, the one who managed to barely gain a pound all year, gained a pound in 2 weeks time. HUH?

This morning I weighed him again. Again, it was the first thing in the morning. Naked. Before breakfast and after potty. 32.2 pounds. HUH? He gained a pound in a week? Can that be possible?

We'll keep you posted on his progress...

Back to School

Simi returned to school full-time this past Monday. He was so excited to see all his friends and his teachers. He really missed them.

I can't believe that 2 weeks after open heart surgery and the kid is running around nothing ever happened.

Having said that, his poor teachers have the most difficult job. The kids are on the playground several times a day and they get to keep him from hurting himself. They're in an unenviable position. Every day we tell Simi when we drop him off at school, "Stay in the sandbox, Simi", and so far, he has. We'll all breathe a sigh of relief 3 weeks from now, when he's 6 weeks post-surgery and much more fully recovered.

A Skinned Knee

In our quest to keep Simi injury-free, we went to the zoo on Friday. It's about a 1.5 hour drive each way and we thought to take the double jogger so the boys could sit during the entire journey - perfect!

We did manage to get the boys to sit in the jogger for much of the zoo trip, but there were parts they wanted to get out and walk. At one point, while helping Simi get back into the jogger, Simi tripped on my (Liz's) foot and fell. He took a hard fall and immediately started crying. Something like this issue was exactly what we were trying to avoid! My breath was held while Raj and I examined Simi. The result? A skinned knee. There was no injury to Simi's chest at all. Phew!

Later, back home, we had to clean the skinned knee and put antibiotic ointment on it. Just the thought of cleaning the knee was enough to send Simi through the roof; he wasn't letting us anywhere near the knee. The look of fear on his face was at maximum level - at just the mere thought of anyone touching that knee.

Next step? Find a way to help Simi work through some of these residual fears.

Running in Circles

In some ways, this recovery thing has taken a different turn.

During Simi's open heart surgery, the surgical team cut open Simi's breastbone to get to his heart. Now, he needs to give his bones time to mend. This means no falling down. Which means we need to keep him from running around so that he doesn't fall down.

Problem is, Simi has about 10x more energy than he did BEFORE the open heart surgery. Guess his body really and truly was working harder due to the defect. Anyway, today after nap time, Simi was running in circles in the living room, then jumping from the furniture onto the floor. Raj was home with him and had a heck of a time getting the kid calm (let's do a puzzle, Simi.).

These bones just can't mend fast enough!

Completely Fixed

We went to our local pediatric cardiologist for our follow-up appointment today and received surprising news: Simi never has to return. His heart defect is completely fixed!

The doctor listened and did a short ultrasound to check for fluid around the heart and/or leaks in the patch - both of which are common complications. Everything looks perfect.

Raj and I were both thrilled. Simi was excited that we can now leave the doctor's office and go pick up acorns.

We've never had a cardiology appointment where we didn't make a follow-up appointment. It seemed weird to walk out of there knowing that we won't return.

Our challenge now is to keep this increasingly energetic kid from hurting himself. It takes some time for his bones to heal and we're supposed to keep him calm. HA! This kid has more energy than ever and it's really hard to keep him from running around.

And for the curious, the size of the hole (or should I say: former hole?) is about the size of a quarter.

A Healthy Dose of Asher

Now that we're back at home and have gotten a bit of sleep, we can begin to tell you a bit of how Simi spent his first few post-hospital days...

Understandably so, Simi was really sad while in the hospital. Once he was released, he and Asher got to pal around together again. Asher is such a two-year-old goofball that it's hard for anyone to be sad while being around him. Plus, Simi and Asher are genuinely close, so it helped Simi a lot to be with Asher.

After just a day or so, our challenge as parents was to keep Simi and Asher from hurting Simi. Simi kept forgetting that his chest was just recently cracked open and we'd regularly see the two of them begin to wrestle or hug or do something on the physical side. And with the Boston weather as dreary as it was, we were cooped up in the apartment. Being cooped up in the apartment made it more difficult for us as parents to keep the two of them from hurting Simi.

We did a lot of sticker work (thanks, Peter and Karen, for bringing the 10,000+ stickers. I think we used them all!) We did a lot of coloring work (thanks, Trettle family, for the crayola markers. They were fun! We used them up too!) And we saw a lot of matinee movies. We went to the aquarium so often that we became members. At the aquarium, we could strap the boys in the stroller and keep them calm and contained - perfect! We could also sit in the IMAX theater and watch really cool 3D movies. (OK, only Simi thought they were really cool; Asher was terrified.) We also saw the new Wallace and Grummit animated movie. Asher got over his fear of movies while watching that one.

How's Simi doing now? Our challenge to keep Simi calm and safe is even more difficult now. Rest and regular Motrin/Tylenol doses help Simi routinely forget that his chest just got cracked open, and it's way too enticing to engage the playful Asher in a game of wrestling. Thankfully, the weather in NC is MUCH nicer than we had in Boston. We've been taking them out in the double jogger (strapped down and sitting - perfect!) for long walks since we've been home. It'll be easier to keep Simi calm once Asher returns to daycare on Monday. Then we'll probably return to doing more table work - painting, crayons, puzzles, reading, etc.

The cardiologist mentioned that Simi would be more tired than normal these first few weeks. We've noticed only the opposite. He seems to have a lot more energy now than he ever has. If this is more tired, then we're really in trouble when he gets less tired. That's good, right?

We had hoped that now that we're home and they're sleeping in separate bedrooms, that perhaps they'd sleep longer in the morning. They must have developed some sort of sibling radar because this morning Asher awoke at about 5:30 AM and Simi awoke about 10 minutes later. What's up with that?

A lot of folks have asked to see post-operative photos of Simi. Maybe in a couple of years. Seriously. Raj took a lot of photos during the trip and I (Liz) had (have?) plans to make him a photo book of the experience. We viewed the photos once while in Boston and they're so difficult to view that I bawled like a baby through the entire slide show. In other words, I think it's going to take a while before we can view them again - nevermind post one.

Alright, from now, I think the posts are going to be a lot happier. Thanks again for all your support, good wishes, cards and prayers. We appreciate every single one of them.

Back in NC

We are back in sunny Carolina! Truthfully, we're exhausted, so perhaps we should blog tomorrow when we can actually type complete sentences.

Until then, here's some good news worth sharing:

Simi's back to his happy self again. It doesn't even seem to bother him that he has this nasty gash down his chest. He just calls it his "boo-boo" or his "scar" in a rather non-chalant way. He's an amazing kid.

We asked Simi to name the highlight of his Boston Adventure, part II. Immediately, he talked about picking up acorns in the park across the street from our apartment. He carried those acorns all the way back to NC, by the way. So now you know: picking up acorns ranks higher than getting a heart fixed (from a 4-year-old's perspective).

Although it may be temporary or perhaps completely unrelated to his heart, Simi's actually eating A LOT. Twice in the past few days he's even mentioned that he's hungry! The kid is nearly 4 years old and I can't ever remember a time when he's looked forward to eating or even confessed to being hungry. Regardless of the reason, it's music to our ears and we're happily feeding him.

Last, although Simi and Asher have been extremely close, I think this trip has made them even closer (if that's possible). They missed each other terribly while Simi was in the hospital. Back at the apartment, they shared a bed. From a parent perspective, it was amazingly cute to see them sleeping together. Now that we're home and they're each sleeping in their own beds, it'll be interesting to see how well they sleep without each other. (Selfishly, I hope they sleep LATE tomorrow!)

And on that note, it's now 8:15 PM and well past OUR bedtime. We'll write more about the rest of our Boston Adventure, part II tomorrow.

We're all back at the apartment now. Simi is back to his normal self again, you'd never know he just got out of the hospital unless you saw his chest. He's laughing and goofing around and being silly with Asher as if nothing happened.

Yesterday Liz's brother Peter and family came down and we all had a great time together here at the apartment. They brought a bag full of birthday presents and Simi had fun opening them and then playing "Hi Ho! Cherry-O" with cousin Nicole and Aunt Karen. Peter picked up some "Legal Seafood" for dinner, and we ended the evening with a bithday cake for Simi and Grandpa Harris (whose birthday was today).

This morning the grandparents headed back home, then the rest of us walked around the mall for a while and had lunch together before Peter, Karen, and the girls headed back home.

We're being Released!

We're nearly out of the hospital!!! Woo hoo! We're out of here just as soon as we receive the discharge papers from the nurse. We can't wait!

Simi's doing great. He'll do better and better with each passing day. And I think getting away from doctors and nurses will do him a lot of good emotionally.

OK, from here, the postings will be sparse until we return home. Thanks again for all your prayers, calls, and good wishes. We really appreciate them.

Until soon...

Boston Children's Hospital

I can't believe I've been forgetting to mention what wonderful care we're getting here at Boston Children's. I'm so incredibly glad we chose to come here to fix Simi's heart; I can't imagine a better place. The surgeon did a great job; he truly is a miracle worker. The surgical team took great care of Simi during the operation. The surgical liaisons did a great job taking care of us during the surgery. And all the nurses and doctors on the floors are just incredible. It's because of them that Simi has healed so well. I'm forever indebted to them.

Super-early, October 9th

The doctors are talking about letting Simi leave the hospital on Sunday, October 9th (today). Simi's doing a lot better now. He's up and walking around and seems to be feeling better.

This evening he gobbled down a huge amount of pizza and some ice cream sundae. Admitedly, he's getting a bit spoiled here in the hospital; he got to eat his ice cream BEFORE he ate his dinner. (It was melting and I wanted to make sure he got as much as he could before it became all liquid....)

Sunday, Uncle Peter, Aunt Karen, and the girls are planning to visit. A visit from Fun Aunt Karen is exactly what Simi needs right now; we can't wait! Plus, Monday is Grandpa Harris' birthday and it'll be really nice to have everyone together to celebrate it.

If we get sprung from here, we'll only be able to post updates via the treo - which seems to allow just a few lines of post. So...we'll post the highlights and then update once we get home (on October 14th).

October 8 morning

Simi just woke up a little while ago, and is watching "A Bug's Life" now (the "Ants" movie as he calls it). I (Raj) spent the night with him last night and Liz spent the night with Asher. Simi's doing great, and we expect to be out tonight or tomorrow. He doesn't want to get up and walk around much yet and he need's to do some walking. We're trying to get him to walk to the nice playroom they have here, hopefully he'll be up for that later this morning.

Asher's doing great as well, G'ma & G'pa are taking great care of him at the apartment and he's having a lot of fun with them. He talked to Simi on the phone last night for a minute, just saying "Hi Simi" and Simi's face lit up it was really sweet.

That's all for now gotta run back to the room, I'm sure Liz will post more later.

October 7th Update

It's about 2 PM and Simi just arrived in the regular cardiac care hospital unit. That means that he is out of the cardiac intensive care unit and in the regular ward.

Simi's lovin' the new unit. He's one of the lucky few who has his own room (it was purely luck that he got his own room!) and there is a vcr in the room and a library of tapes down the hall. There are tons of books and a playroom down the hall when he's ready.

Right now he's thrilled because he gets to have all the chicken noodle soup he wants.

Simi's pain meds now are Tylenol. Incredible that one day after surgery and all he needs is Tylenol.

He went for a walk this morning (he wanted to!), but it was just a litle walk. I think it hurt him so he stopped.

On the flip side, we're dealing with some emotional stuff. Simi's sad and scared (his words). Last night, he refused to go to sleep because he was afraid that they'd hurt him again. And every time someone comes near him to do something, like to pull a line or take an x-ray, it's a really big deal. He "shut down" emotionally last night and is just now starting to perk up a bit. But every time something medical happens - even the least little bit of pain - it's a big deal for him and takes him right back to shutting down again. As a parent, it's really painful to watch. He's a part of me. Seeing him shut-down emotionally cuts right into my core being. But we'll get through this.

Asher's doing great with Grandma and Grandpa Ruben. They're doting on him and spoiling him and he's just lovin' it.

Thanks for all your thoughts and support. It means the world to us. We'll update again soon.

October 6th Evening Update

It's 7:15 PM and Simi's snoozing...so here's a quick update.

Simi's doing incredibly great. The nurse commented that he's behaving more like he just got his tonsils removed than had open heart surgery. He's an amazing kid. It seems like he truly isn't in pain right now. He hasn't had any pain medication since he first arrived at the ICU (noonish). He's telling us that he's not in pain and his heart rate and blood pressure are confirming it. All the numbers on all the monitors are great and the Cardiologist used the following adjectives after his evaluation of Simi: wonderful and lovely.

Although it may be too early to say for certain, it's looking like the defect was closed completely (no leaks). I'm forever indebted to his surgeon, Dr. Pigula.

Simi's only complaint all day is that he's thirsty. We gave him water, then juice, then popsicles. The kid's eaten 4 popsicles already; that's a lot based on the nurses reaction.

So, assuming all continues to go well, he'll move to the regular ward sometime tomorrow.

Asher has had a wonderful time with his maternal grandparents today. It's nice that he's had a chance to have this kind of good quality time with them; we don't get to see them so frequently. I guess this is a silver lining - a nice side benefit of our "Boston Adventure".

We'll try to update again soon.

Simi update

The last post got truncated, but I'm gonna try again anyway. We're with him in the ICU, he's talking and moving a bit. He's doing great!

828 Karen came back to tell us that started making the incision

10:00 We haven't heard anything yet so we asked for a status update

10:10 Karen called back for us and found that they're warming up to take him off the machi

Simi's in Surgery

Simi back to the operating room at about 7:30am. We met our liasons Sheila and Karen, who talks to nurse Kathy, who is in the operating room. They'll let us know when they make the first incision, then when they have him all hooked up to the heart-lung bypass machin

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

This is it - the beginning of our Boston Adventure, part II. We're leaving momentarily for the airport.

Yesterday Simi was as whiny and clingy as an infant - and crying just as much. I guess it's the 3 year-old way of getting the stress out.

Today we're hoping to make it to the aquarium in Boson to have one last bit of fun. Tomorrow, a different kind of fun begins.

Preparing Simi for Surgery

We've been slowly preparing Simi for his open heart surgery. Our first trip to Boston was one big step in that direction, allowing him to get acquainted with the hospital and staff, along with having a ton of fun while we were there to give him some good experiences to associate with it.

Next step in preparation was in showing him the calendar and all of the events coming up: Asher's birthday, Simi's first birthday party, open heart surgery, Simi's second birthday party, Halloween and Simi's birthday, and Christmas.

Through hearing us talk, Simi's gotten the understanding that this is a big deal and that something big is going to happen to him.

The hospital had given us a booklet to guide him through the pre-op appointment and surgery day and his stay in the hospital - to help prepare him for what to expect. Today (Sunday), Liz tried to read him the book and show him the pictures. He was very uncomfortable, even asking not to read it. In the end, we did, in fact read him the book and look at the pictures, but it was clear he didn't enjoy it. He probably understands more than we think.

Simi did remind us that it wasn't the FOUR of us going to Boston, but in fact, FIVE of us who were going: Mommy, Daddy, Simi, Asher, and puppy (his stuffed toy). Then he remembered that it was really SIX of us going, because baby sister was coming along too.

This may be the last we post before surgery. We'll do our best to update as soon as we can while we're in Boston.

Simi's 4th Birthday Party, part I

Because of the impending open heart surgery, we chose to hold Simi's 4th birthday party prior to the surgery. It was this past Saturday at My Gym in Cary.

Simi was so incredibly excited. He's been waiting for this day and his birthday party for a LONG time. It was absolutely perfect. 20 energetic 4 year-olds and their siblings played hard at My Gym for 2 hours. Both Simi and Asher were so excited that they couldn't even think about napping afterwards, and they even had a difficult time going to bed that evening, despite their exhaustion.

One reason they were both too excited to sleep was because we pulled out "THE BIG" birthday present: Simi's first real bike (with training wheels). Then, we made a presentation out of Simi gifting his tricycle to Asher, who was so excited, he wanted to sleep with it that night.